DON'T CAN REX OVER POT; HYPE, MAYBE ...

Even as an ardent disciple of that little-known offshoot of schadenfreude,
in which one enjoys the misfortunes of overexcited former ballplayers who
get jobs as TV commentators and then shamelessly root for the home team on
the air, I've got to go to bat for Rex Hudler.

The Wonder Dog, the nickname of the kinetic 43-year-old pup who works the
microphone for Angels' telecasts, is hanging by his leash these days after
getting arrested a couple of weeks ago for marijuana possession in the
Kansas City airport.

Hudler was immediately suspended by the Angels, a heck of a way to thank a
guy who gushes about the team and organization whenever the chance presents
itself. The team said late last week that Hudler's fate would be decided in
the off-season.

The Hud's listeners tend to fall into two categories: You either dig his
cheerleading for the Angels (they always demonstrate "character") or it
drives you nuts, because you want some cold-eyed analysis.

If I never heard Hudler "analyze" another game, I'd be happy. Nor would I
miss for a second Hudler saying to play-by-play man Steve Physioc, "Phys, I
am pumped!"

I'd love to muzzle the Wonder Dog, but not over this. He shouldn't lose his
job over a snootful of pot. It's not a big enough error to cost him his
livelihood, no matter how much the Angels may want to foster a
family-oriented image.

Hudler smokes pot in the still of the night, and the Angels sell beer and
let fans get swacked before they drive home. Give me the Hud at home, any time.

He's not a hypocrite. Sure, he comes across as a guy who'd tell little
Johnny and Susie to eat their peas and carrots, but he doesn't moralize. To
find out that he toots a little weed is actually kind of funny.

My hunch is the Angels have already told Hudler he'll be back, but want to
make it sound like they're grappling over this momentous decision. A Kansas
City judge has sentenced Hudler to drug counseling classes (fellow
attendees, beware) and public service. Hudler and his wife, who have a
child with Down's syndrome, have said they'll concentrate their community
service on that cause.

There's no more pound of flesh to be had.

Hudler told The Times he's been an occasional pot smoker over the years and
uses it only to help him sleep. Anyone who's caught his act on TV or public
appearances probably wonders what grade of marijuana is required for
someone with Hudler's personality. Must be of Cheech and Chong quality.

I'm not one of those people who rails against the war on drugs, but finding
out that someone like Hudler likes the stuff adds a welcomed element of
reality. That is, he seems like a genuinely good guy. If he's the kind of
villain we're chasing, maybe we should take another look at our efforts.

Yes, he's a lawbreaker when he buys, and you could argue that his habit
keeps a cartel in business somewhere. But, to coin a phrase, let's bust the
chops of real criminals of the world, not the Rex Hudlers.

Hudler has said that he won't ever smoke again and that he was "ashamed for
doing it." Methinks the Wonder Dog doth protest too much. I'm reminded that
St. Louis Cardinal pitcher Darryl Kile, who died in 2002 from artery
blockage and was universally hailed by all who knew him, had traces of
marijuana in his system when he died.

In other words, pot-smoking and personal character don't appear to have a link.

Call me an old softie, but had I sentenced Hudler, I'd have given him the
five-cent lecture about drug use and 30 days for his work behind the
microphone.

That way, we all come out ahead.