A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES

This week, our government will decide whether or not they want to
poison foreign countries. Congressman Mark Souder, R-Ind., Sen. Orrin
Hatch, R-Utah, and Sen. Joseph Biden, D-Del., are proposing a bill to
the House and Senate that, if passed, will revive research on a fungi
called mycoherbicides, which would be used to kill illicit drug crops
in other countries.

Mycoherbicides have been studied exhaustively over the past 30 years
and research has shown that they are not a viable option for
controlling opium, coca or other drug plants in countries like
Columbia and Afghanistan. The fungi do kill drug plants, but they
also wipe out tomato plants and bean plants and strawberry plants and
pretty much anything else that has leaves and stems. Furthermore,
after these little bastards get entrenched, they contaminate the soil
and leave the ground barren for years. Some governments are even
storing up mycoherbicides as a chemical weapon.

The Drug Policy Alliance has already made numerous statements against
this drug control option; however, the new bill before Congress would
revive the research and open up political conversation on this topic.
This is basically a proposal to initiate a program of global
biological warfare. Famine, starvation and war would inevitably follow.

If Congress wants to pursue these type of extreme tactics further,
they might want to consider a few other options: 1) A plague of
locusts would certainly send a strong message; 2) Turning the rivers
to blood is always popular in a pinch; and 3) The Air Force could
always fly over the Middle East and drop a butt-load of frogs on the locals.

And if all else fails, we can just start killing off every first-born
male child. You have to stick with the classics.