SMOKIN' UP THE JOINT

How do you plan to celebrate 420? The 20th day of the fourth month is not a
statutory holiday. That does not preclude celebrating, however. And in the
spirit of 420, you might want to show up for work late, leave early and
take a long lunch break, most of which will be spent trying to decide where
to eat.

Tomorrow is World Marijuana Day. You won't find it on the calendar.
Actually, you won't find it anywhere but on the Internet.

Punch up concept420.com/ what-is-420.htm for information on the "tokers'
New Year's Day." April 20, the Web site suggests, has been "an important
part of the marijuana culture since the 1970s," when smoker or smokers
unknown decided that 4:20 p.m. was an ideal time to do up, after school and
before the primo 5 p.m. reruns - e.g. Seinfeld, Frasier, a double hit of
The Simpsons.

(Friends of mine got in on the ground floor of this phenomenon. Bert and
Ernie, as they've called each other ever since, used to get fried every
afternoon and watch Sesame Street.)

Some 420 myths: 420 is police dispatch code for pot busts.

There are 420 active chemicals in marijuana.

As a Quentin Tarantino wink to stoners, all the clocks in Pulp Fiction are
set to 4:20.

All this was news to David McKenzie. The owner of the Duchess of Amsterdam
head shop on St. Marc St. has heard of 420 but admits to being hazy on its
significance.

"There's a lot of stuff floating around on the Net," McKenzie said when I
dropped by his store to check on preparations for the big day. The only 420
paraphernalia, gala or otherwise, was a small decal on the front door.

McKenzie said some customers smoke their first joint of the day at 4:20.
The ritual is a kind of dopers' Happy Hour - more honoured, his recent
experience suggests, in the breach than the observance.

In October, McKenzie opened a pot-smokers' cafe on St. Denis St. Paying
rent of $8,000 a month, he thought the club - which included an oxygen bar
and a restaurant - would be the Next Big Thing.

It was closed by Christmas.

"Friends had told me it was a great idea," McKenzie said. "So many people
smoke dope, and those who don't know people who do. But they didn't come to
the cafe. They were just too afraid."

Marijuana is still illegal. And given the current travails of the Liberal
government, dopers aren't holding their breath on passage of a law that
would decriminalize possession of small quantities of marijuana.

Chances are 420 celebrations will be low-key. People who smoke grass -
including street-corner tokers who make a late-afternoon walk downtown a
pungent olfactory experience - will get high tomorrow. People who don't won't.

As a moderate user (compared with Bob Marley), I agree with Bill Hicks. The
late, great comedian sought to debunk the theory that smoking marijuana
diminishes productivity.

"They say pot-smoking makes you unmotivated," Hicks said. "Lie! When you're
high, you can do everything you normally do just as well. You just realize
it's not worth the %*#&ing effort."