HERE'S THE PERFECT DOG TO ROAM THE HALLS

Enrollment In Scottsdale's High Schools Will Be Up By One Come August.

Blaze, the Police Department's drug-sniffing black Lab, will be on the hunt
along with a few of his fellow K-9s, nose to the grindstone. Or, at least
to the lockers in four of the district's five high schools.

That's right. The Scottsdale School Board voted 4-1 Tuesday to send in the
dogs.

Now, I don't have anything in particular against the idea, if we really
want to start sliding down that slippery slope and begin the process of
transforming our schools into a police state. But may I suggest that we
leave Blaze to his other duties and instead send in another dog? One more
suited to the important task of carrying Sheriff Joe Arpaio's flag. One
more disposed by training and bloodlines to get in there and root out the
heroin, cocaine and various other drugs the sheriff says are fairly oozing
out of the schools.

I'm thinking: Odie.

That is, if Garfield can part with him for a spell. Think about it - Odie
is lovable, he's loyal, and he's something of a dopey dog who so often
likes to chase his own tail.

Who better to track down drugs that aren't likely to be anywhere near a locker?

Besides, if we're going to react to one of Joe Arpaio's publicity stunts,
we might as well respond with a cartoon canine.

Anyone who has kids in Scottsdale schools no doubt gasped when they saw the
headlines last August: Scottsdale School Heroin Ring Hit.

"This is a wake-up call," Arpaio said at the time, "and it's sending a
message out that heroin can be found anywhere."

Over the next seven months, however, precious little information trickled
out of Arpaio about precisely where in the schools it could be found. Oh,
there were hints. By October, Arpaio told a Republic reporter that the
number of students involved "stretches into the hundreds" and that
investigators had trailed the drug dealers to the schools, where they
watched buys being made on campus.

By mid-March, we were hearing that school bathrooms were filled with crazed
students looking for their daily fix, that kids were hunched behind
backpacks in class, snorting cocaine and heroin.

"We have a serious drug problem in our schools," Arpaio said at the time.
"Actually, this may be just the tip of the iceberg."

Finally, in late March, the details emerged. Of the 146 students in
Arpaio's heroin ring, roughly two-thirds actually used marijuana, making it
more of a marijuana ring than a heroin ring. And the buys weren't on
campus. And the vast majority of the students were former students.

In all, seven former students were arrested for heroin use, along with one
current student. One.

Translation: We got scammed.

And I, who had begun to believe Arpaio over time, got scammed more than
most. I'm the one who scolded school officials, saying they should have
known what was going on right under their noses. I'm the one who said they
should be embarrassed.

I'm the only one who should be embarrassed, because I should have known it
was just another Arpaio quest for headlines.

Oh, to be sure, there is a drug problem in Scottsdale. There are Scottsdale
students using drugs. As there are in Phoenix and Glendale and every other
school district in every other city.

But not one iota of evidence suggests that Scottsdale has more of a problem
than anyplace else. Yet here comes the School Board, reacting to Arpaio,
bringing in the dogs.

Which is why I think Odie would be a good choice to sniff out trouble. I'm
with Eric Meyer, the board member who voted against having drug dogs patrol
lockers.

"It doesn't deter drug use," he said. "It deters keeping drugs in your locker."

That's probably why the Paradise Valley district discontinued the practice
years ago.

Both Scottsdale Superintendent John Baracy and Scottsdale Police Chief Alan
Rodbell told me use of drug dogs would send a message to students not to
bring drugs onto campus.

Me? I think it'll send a message to kids not to stash their stash in their
lockers. Better to leave it in the car, or in the backpack or in a pocket.

It seems to me if you really want to attack the problem, leave the dogs in
the kennel and focus on creating an effective drug education and prevention
program.

To its credit, the Scottsdale district is working on just such a thing.
It's called Lions-Quest, and unlike the old DARE program - which lectured
only fifth-graders about the dangers of drugs - this program begins in
kindergarten and builds each year through high school.

"The programs emphasize civic values, such as self-discipline, respect,
personal and civic responsibility, honesty, caring, trustworthiness and
commitment to a healthy lifestyle," according to the Lions-Quest Web site.

Ah, I see. Trust and respect inside the classroom.

Drug dogs in the halls.