POT SMOKING BEST KEPT UNDERGROUND

Mason Tvert Can Smell Victory, And The Thought Makes Him Giddy.

Tvert is the 23-year-old who masterminded the passage of I-100, known to
potheads as "High-100."

The initiative was approved by 54 percent of Denver voters. Tvert says it
amended city law allowing adult residents to legally possess an ounce or
less of marijuana. He says police cannot cite adults smoking in their homes.

Pot smokers all over the city are now under the impression that they can
light up anytime, anyplace.

That's not the case, but if you're a stoner it's easy to get confused.

Now the city is in an awkward position of having to get the word out that
smoking pot is still illegal.

Assistant City Attorney David Broadwell said he's told Tvert from Day One
that the initiative would amount to an expensive survey since state law
prohibiting marijuana supersedes city ordinances.

But Tvert's not giving up. He wants city officials to "respect the will of
Denver voters." He will fight for their right to get high. All he needs are
willing accomplices, I mean defenders.

"What we'd like to see is if an adult is cited at home that they don't pay
the fine. We want to take it to court," Tvert told me. "I want a trial.
That's where we'll see changes to this law."

Tvert makes a convincing argument in calling pot a safe alternative to
alcohol. It made me wonder: What would Denver be like if all the drunks
stayed home and puffed?

I live in LoDo, which may as well be short for Lots of Drunk Ones. Weekend
nights start out innocently with a martini here, a shot there, and then a
pint of ale everywhere. But adults in this town drink like they're at a
huge keg party. All that alcohol brings out their nasty side.

Almost every week, I see grown men urinate in alleys, or women throw up on
their high heels, or bouncers eject drunken brawlers. Fights are common.
Someone is always smashing a bottle on the sidewalk.

On early Saturday and Sunday mornings I have to watch the streets closely
as I walk my dog to make sure I navigate around the vomit and shards of
glass. They call this upscale living?

Alcohol can do that to people, unlike pot, which makes people giggle,
contemplate the complexities of hair follicles and scarf bags of Doritos.

I have smoked pot. Years ago, I admitted it to my mom, who believed that if
a person tried marijuana, before long they'd be injecting heroin.

She began sprinkling holy water on me before I could explain that I didn't
like it.

Then again, I don't care much for alcohol. And I find smoke, of any kind,
irritating.

I prefer a Rocky Mountain high: hiking in Golden, biking along the South
Platte River, skiing at A-Basin.

I don't think legalizing marijuana is necessary - unless we were to do so
for medicinal purposes. If folks want to smoke in their homes, the chances
of getting busted are slim. Police don't have the time, or the authority,
to do random checks. If they're knocking on someone's door it's probably
because someone did something to call attention to themselves - like
blaring Metallica at 3 a.m.

Besides, I know where this is leading: to get the government to legalize
marijuana for all adults, everywhere. Tvert envisions "a system of tax and
regulation where private people are licensed to grow and sell."

Just what we need: more government regulations. Put it in the private
sector and the business world would create even more consumers by marketing
it the way they do most products - with sex.

I say keep it where it is: underground, where no one has to watch potheads
stuffing themselves with Doritos.

Cindy Rodriguez's column appears Tuesdays and Thursdays in Scene.