IF MY HAIR HAD BEEN TESTED FOR DRUGS IN THE '60s . . .

CBC high school is a private institution and has the absolute right to
drug-test its students. Furthermore, high school kids should not be
using illegal drugs.

Still, I get chills when I think about the school's plan for mandatory
drug testing. Part of it is the libertarian in me. We are a free
people - although getting less free all the time - and none of us is
guilty until proven innocent.

The presumption of innocence should include high school students. In
fact, I'd waive it only in matters of public safety. I am not bothered
by metal detectors at airports.

But also there is this: I have just enough brain cells left to
remember my own youth.

Admittedly, I was out of high school when I hit the skids. But still,
I remember myself with long hair. And had you taken a strand of that
long hair and drug-tested it, well, it would have been not just
positive but maybe radioactive. What I'm saying is, I remember the
'60s. By the way, when people talk about the '60s, they are talking
about a time roughly from 1966 to 1975.

Young people used drugs. Not everybody, of course, but an awful lot of
us. People smoked pot openly. If you went to a party, somebody would
be smoking pot. During the late '60s - in other words, in the early
'70s - my roommate was a prosecutor, and when his friends had parties,
they smoked pot.

George W. Bush smoked pot. We know that because one of his so-called
friends secretly taped a conversation in which the president said he
was not going to admit smoking pot because he didn't want to be a bad
influence on children. That was the same reason he had given four
years earlier for not admitting he had once gotten a DWI.

And you know something? I understood that reasoning. That is not the
way I handle my past with my kids, but who's to say that honesty is
always the best policy when it comes to parenting?

I am something of an anthropology buff, and I once read a fascinating
essay about Neanderthals. How smart were they? We don't know. But the
man who wrote this essay said they were plenty smart, that if you
could reach back in time and grab a couple of them and place them into
our world, they probably could cope. There would be a culture shock,
of course, but once they got over that, they'd be all right.

The same could be said about my friends from the '60s. If you could go
back in time, grab us and place us in today's world, we probably could
cope, but there would be a huge culture shock. Some of it would be
little things. All of our cars would be illegal. I had an old British
sports car and the lights did not work if the car was idling. I'd pull
up to a stoplight, take my foot off the accelerator and go dark. Plus,
the wipers didn't work, and if it rained, I'd have to drive standing
up so I could see over the windshield. None of our cars could pass a
safety inspection.

The big shock, though, would be society's attitude toward drugs. We
were convinced that once our generation got to be in charge, things
would change. Certainly, marijuana would be legalized. In fact, I
remember stories about the big tobacco companies buying huge
properties in Mexico and getting ready for the inevitable
legalization.

But now we are in charge, and where are we? The Justice Department
wants to bust cancer patients who smoke pot for medicinal purposes.
And if you go to a party, don't expect to see anybody casually fire up
a joint in a room full of strangers.

I'm a Neanderthal who has learned to cope. I think high school kids
should stay away from drugs. I think they should stay away from booze,
too. As the school cook used to say in South Park, there is a time and
a place for everything, and it's called college.

But still, as a Neanderthal with libertarian leanings, mandatory drug
testing gives me the chills.