KEEPING A CLEAR HEAD, SNIFFING OUT THE NEWS

First, let's make one thing perfectly clear: I did not
inhale.

But there were plenty of people who did at the fifth annual Oregon
Medical Cannabis Awards. Right there on the porch at the Ambridge
Event Center in Northeast. Strictly for medicinal purposes, of course.

The daylong event Dec. 9 was sponsored by the Oregon chapter of the
National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws. It was billed
by organizers as "the only event of its kind in the United States."

Pretty lofty rhetoric.

To be honest, though, other than the "med room" out on the porch, this
gathering felt like a convention. Not like a mortgage brokers'
convention, where all the guys are decked out in suits from Men's
Wearhouse and all the ladies are sporting new duds from the Dress Barn.

No, there was plenty of hemp clothing and pipes and pot-leaf T-shirts,
and one woman had really awesome butt-length dreads. There was also a
fashion show and an awards ceremony for best Oregon weed and a nice
Buddhist monk.

Still, it really did feel like a convention because of all the booths
and the round tables with white cloths. Also, it was held in a
ballroom. Plus, it's not like there were a bunch of slack-jawed
potatoheads sitting around staring into space, like you'd expect in a
room full of serious dope smokers.

Out on the porch, though, it was a whole different story. Because the
porch was reserved for people with medical marijuana cards. But I have
to admit that it struck me as I was watching these good people take
massive hits off of a really, really beautiful ceramic pipe that none
of them looked particularly sickly.

I mean, most of them looked like my friends from high school sitting
around in some kid's backyard while his parents were out of town,
passing a pipe in a slow, mesmerizing circle. There was lots of
coughing, of course. But not, like, this-guy-needs-to-go-to-the-hospital
coughing.

Then I talked to Tony Pearson. He's a natty 61-year-old retired
engineer from Portland who has glaucoma. He says a little pot in the
morning and a little at night helps relieve the pressure in his eyes
that accompanies his illness.

Another guy told me he'd had 24 surgeries because of a degenerative
bone disease and that Mary Jane helps ease the pain.

So, OK, that's legit. Let them have their dope, already.

Once I made up my mind on that, I closed my little notebook, put my
pen back behind my ear and headed for the parking lot.

But my head was clear. I wasn't even hungry.