JAIL TIME FOR A MUFFIN PRANK? SURELY THEY MUST BE JOKING

Surely I'm not alone in hoping that authorities don't - repeat, do
not - throw the book at two Dallas teens accused of lacing muffins
with marijuana.

Let's be clear - what they're suspected of doing was criminal and
stupid, causing 19 staff members at Lake Highlands High School to
become sick May 16 and wasting the resources of local and federal
investigative agencies.

But when I read that Ian McConnell Walker and Joseph Robert Tellini
are facing five counts of assault of a public servant, which carries
a punishment of two to 10 years in the slammer and a $10,000 fine, I cringed.

Prosecutors went a step further, saying last week that they would
seek stiffer punishment because the high school seniors used a
controlled substance.

Question: Are we really about to flush two young lives down the drain
over what can best be described as a misguided prank?

Look, perhaps the cops and feds know more than I do about this - and
that's a reasonable assumption. After all, they handled the investigation.

But until I hear them say unequivocally that the accused teens had
malicious intent, that they knowingly set out to hurt or kill
someone, that they have a track record of hazardous stunts, it's hard
for me to imagine that dropping the legal gauntlet on two high school
seniors would best serve the public's interest.

Hey, you want to send a message? Fine. I'm all for that. Make an
example of these teens by compelling them to do an extraordinary
amount of community service.

Make them clean up the cages at the local animal shelter. Make them
watch endless videos about the dangers of drugs. Make them pick up
trash at our city parks.

Put them on a short leash, which ultimately might include a probated
sentence and the aforementioned community service.

That's what Rawlins Gilliland, a man who works with youth, would do.
Mr. Gilliland, a volunteer at a youth conflict-resolution center in
Oak Lawn, said he doubts the young men had any idea of the gravity of
their prank. But sending them to jail, if they're convicted, may
create more of a burden than relief for society, he said.

He shared the story of a teenage boy he once worked with who was
busted for possessing a small amount of marijuana, convicted and sent
to jail. "When he got out, he might as well had it written across his
forehead" that he'd been in jail. "He was a changed man - edgier,
harder. And what do we get out of that?"

The hard question is whether we as a society are less understanding,
less forgiving than we once were. Kids have always pulled pranks,
some more serious than others.

"When I was in high school [in the '60s]," confessed Mr. Gilliland, a
former sales director for Neiman Marcus who now works independently
as a consultant and national speaker, "I handed out a platter of
white chocolate cubes dipped individually in dark chocolate. But one
of the cubes was actually not white chocolate."

It was Ivory soap.

"I waited to see who got the 'mystery' choco-cube. Unfortunately, it
was the 70-something librarian who heaved all the way" to the hospital.

That was not an act of terrorism or a desire to hurt anyone. He was
trying to get a laugh. No one figured out who did it, and the cops
certainly weren't called.

"It was a joke that only a teen's mind finds hilarious," Mr.
Gilliland said, "just like the muffin affair was on a larger scale."

Luckily, if luck is applicable at all in the muffin case, no one was
seriously hurt.

The bottom line is that this is a case of extremely poor judgment and
a failure to calculate the harmful consequences of actions - for the
victims and the pranksters.

Rest assured, no one is laughing now - not that it ever was funny.

But don't do this - don't treat these teens like heartless hoodlums,
hardened criminals or, worse, terrorists.

Let's scare them straight - so others will think twice before doing
something similarly stupid.