Series: Meth: Shattering Lives In Northern Nevada

A three-month Reno Gazette-Journal investigation found that
methamphetamine's grip on the Truckee Meadows has become a stranglehold.

"I WOULD DO ANYTHING; IT HAD THAT HOLD ON ME."

Billy Lyons and Mike Cottingham said that deep down they were looking
for someone to love them.

They wanted friends, appreciation and camaraderie. The pair wanted
something to fill the void left by growing up in foster care without
their biological parents.

Crystal meth seemed to be their answer, but its price was living on
the streets, committing crimes and being sexually assaulted and robbed.

Lyons also lost her front teeth because crystal meth rotted them.
Both say they know their brains have been damaged by the toxic drug.

The former foster children also lost relationships with their
adoptive parents or guardians. They're not sure if they became
addicted because their biological families were torn apart.

"I felt like I was popular when I was using," said Lyons, 26, who was
placed in foster care when she was 7 after her parents were
imprisoned for a meth-related murder in Texas. "It was a rush and
people wanted to be around me. I felt I would be loved more if I had drugs."

Cottingham, 21, said if he had dope "people always wanted to be around me."

Lyons works with young adults at the 24/7 TLC organization's Rivendel
Program, which helps youth move into the community when they become
too old for foster care. Supervised housing is provided along with
living skills. Cottingham lives there.

But after both quit meth, they felt differently.

"You realize the people were only there because I had stuff they
wanted," said Cottingham, who was placed in foster care when he was about 12.

Cottingham dropped out of school in the seventh-grade and joined a
street gang. He had easy access to meth from gang members and was
addicted for six years. Eventually he started selling meth.

"I am happy now that when I wake up I am not worrying about how to
get my next fix," he said of his six months of sobriety. "I reflect
now and know I was horrible to people. I beat up older people for
money at casinos. I just wanted money to get dope.

"I would do anything; it had that hold on me.

"It was like a lifestyle," he said of growing up with older friends
and drug dealers. "It's not so much the dope that's addictive, but
the lifestyle. I loved it."

Cottingham said that he wanted to be "the biggest, baddest and toughest."

"It was horrible," he said. "I wish I could go back to when I was 12
and would have listened to the warnings. I just want to erase it all."

He said his foster parents pushed him to stop, but he never listened.

"You don't even know the things that are happening to you," he said.
"You can go kill someone and not even think about it. It doesn't
matter. You think you are invincible and as long as your needs are
met, you didn't care."

Lyons' life, on the other hand, consisted of living on the streets
after she turned 18. She had been attending Truckee Meadows Community
College but dropped out. She later was evicted from the apartment she
shared with her younger sister, which forced both girls to the
streets. Her relationship with her adoptive parents was strained
because of her meth use.

Her addiction began when she started hanging around the wrong crowd,
she said. She has been meth-free for the past four years and works
with young adults trying to kick their drug habits.

"I got hooked after the first time," she said. "It took over my body
and I eventually hurt everyone I loved because I had to have it."

She liked keeping her weight down and not being hungry. She liked the
"go go go" lifestyle and staying up for a month straight.

"I didn't care how I got it," she said, admitting she was ashamed of
the life she led during that time. "I was using and prostituting for
money and was raped. The whole time I was high.

"I had to have it more than food and a roof over my head," she said.

What finally made Lyons quit was the realization her younger sister
nearly died on the street of starvation. Both Lyons and Cottingham
said they quit without the assistance of treatment centers,
counseling or 12-step programs.

"I chose meth over my sister," she said. "When I think about using
again, I thing about her dying and I don't do it."

Now, both Lyons and Cottingham want to pursue college and continue to
help others struggling with a drug problem.

Cottingham urged people to stay away from meth.

"The demon took control and we didn't have our own thoughts,"
Cottingham said. "We were just focused on the next fix. We want to
pursue our dreams instead of being all strung out.

"Cherish your family and with their love and support reach your
goals," he said. "Now my family doesn't want to be around me and it's
too late."

Lyons agreed.

"We have a fighting chance to prove we are not idiots and stupid,"
she said. "God has forgiven me and I am moving forward. I am truly
sorry for what I've done and I know sorry isn't good enough."