NO COCAINE WAR HERE, MAYOR SAYS

Williams Lake Mayor Scott Nelson called a news conference to clear up
rumours that began late last week indicating that six bodies had been
found in local parks, victims of a cocaine war.

The mayor, rumoured to either be under arrest for drug running or
under police protection, "wanted to stop the gossip," he said. "I am
not in jail. I haven't been arrested. I'm not a drug runner."

RCMP Cpl. Marc Menard confirmed that Nelson, a 15-year veteran of
municipal politics, is an innocent party -- and that there is no
murderous cocaine war going on in the town of 13,500, which has had
four murders this year.