TALK TO CHILDREN, EXPERTS SAY

The majority of school-age students in the Pensacola Bay Area will be
back in class in a week or so -- back navigating hallways full of
bullies, true friends and so-called friends.

This could be the year that one of your fears as a parent is
realized: Your child is offered alcohol or drugs -- and accepts.

Back-to-school time is a good time to find a way to remind your
children of your rules and expectations so they'll be able to make
smart choices.

"There are new peer pressures every year," said Dr. Louis Perillo,
senior vice president of medical affairs at West Florida Hospital.
"Kids want to fit in."

Perillo, who has a 24-year-old son and a 21-year-old daughter, knows
that talking to children about substance use is troublesome for parents.

You have to sound caring and concerned, but not lecture. You have to
get your point across without judging them. Above all, you have to
give them the facts and hope you've empowered them to make the right
choices.

Recent research shows that alcohol and drugs can have lifelong
consequences for teenagers because they slows brain development.
Parents should communicate this to children and make them understand
that their choices today may affect them later in life, Perillo said.

"It doesn't work to just lecture them. You have to address it
directly and honestly, and without being extreme," he said. "Approach
it logically. Tell them what kind of affect it can have on them
physically, socially and what kind of legal consequences there are."

Amy Marshall, prevention coordinator for the Community Drug and
Alcohol Council, said the open dialog should start at a young age and
address substance use even before it becomes an issue. Parents should
tailor their discussion to the child's age and development level.

"It's really simple. There are opportunities every day to turn
ordinary times like driving your child to school, shopping at the
mall, or watching television into teachable moments," Marshall said.
"If you didn't start when they were young, just start."

And be sure to listen when your child wants to talk.

"If you're listening to your kids when they talk, chances are they'll
listen to you," Marshall said.

These conversations should continue yearlong as parents identify
opportunities to discuss the dangers of alcohol and drug use. If your
child does make the wrong choice, don't just start yelling.

"If your child or teenager does come in intoxicated, that's not the
time to talk to them about it," Perillo said. "Just by definition,
the alcohol impairs their ability to reason and remember. Let them
sleep it off and talk about it later."

Sometimes it is not so obvious.

Marshall said the following warning signs may indicate that your
child is using alcohol or drugs:

- - Child becomes withdrawn, depressed, tired or careless about
personal grooming.

- - Unusual mood swings and a hostile, uncooperative
attitude.

- - Breaking curfew.

- - Change in relationships with family or friends; hanging out with
new people and not with longtime friends.

- - Decline in academic performance; skipping school.

- - Loss hobbies or activities.

The Community Drug and Alcohol Center can help parents identify
specifically what substance your child may be using.