PARENTS CLUELESS ON DRUGS

Surveys Show Teens, Folks Out Of Synch, Out Of Touch

A comparison of two recent surveys shows parents apparently don't have
a clue about their teenagers' use of drugs and alcohol.

The surveys also show that, although parents say they talk to their
children about drugs and alcohol, their teenage children aren't listening.

Results of the surveys - one by the Coalition for a Drug-Free Greater
Cincinnati and the other of parents by the Child Policy Research
Center at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center - illustrate
the gap:

Almost one out of every four students reported drinking alcohol at
least once a month, but only 1.6 percent of parents said they knew
their teens had used alcohol that often.

More than 80 percent of parents said they'd talked to their children
about drugs and alcohol in the last month, but less than a third of
teens reported hearing that message from their parents.

The Health Foundation of Greater Cincinnati released the data
comparison on children from 13 to 17 years old.

The results weren't a surprise to teens who've been treated for
substance abuse or to their parents.

"I think we as parents go through life with blinders on," said Randy
Young Sr. of Milford. "We want to believe our children are doing the
right thing, and the old saying comes true: Ignorance is bliss. If we
don't know about the problem, we don't have to address the problem."

Young's son, Randy Jr., was treated for drug and alcohol use at age
16. Now 23, Randy Jr. lives in Colorado.

Young's son lied to his parents about his behavior and often snuck out
of the house.

Katie Marks, 19, a peer counselor at Kids Helping Kids in Milford, was
13 when she started drinking alcohol and using marijuana, usually on
weekends when she stayed at friends' houses.

"Sometimes I'd come home and my eyes would be red or I'd smell like
alcohol," she said.

Her father talked to her about risks, Marks said, but the message
didn't sink in. "I didn't think that things would get bad for me," she
said.

Marks got kicked out of school a few times and was seriously injured
in a car crash while under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

"Sometimes, parents don't pay attention," she said. "Sometimes,
they're in denial."

Marks went through treatment at Kids Helping Kids.

The Milford center provides therapy for chemically dependent teens and
their families.

Parents and teens were closer when asked about rules and
enforcement:

About 66 percent of parents said they set clear rules for their teens
"a lot," compared with 41 percent of teens. Parents said they "often"
set clear rules 29.8 percent of the time, and 28.8 percent of teens
agreed.

Nearly 30 percent of parents said they punished their children "a lot"
for breaking the rules and 29 percent of teens agreed.

The teen survey, released in May, showed that a third fewer students
reported using drugs, alcohol or tobacco in 2005 than in 2000.
Reported use of beer declined 28 percent, while use of tobacco and
marijuana decreased 33 percent and 27 percent, respectively.

Those results show prevention messages work, said Holly James,
president of the Coalition for a Drug-Free Greater Cincinnati.

The disparity between parents' and teens' perceptions shows how
difficult communication can be - something many parents of teenagers
know, she said.

"I suspect that because you're dealing with communication and you're
dealing with that difference in age, there's going to be a lot of
miscommunication and not catching the meaning or something not
resonating with one side or the other," she said.

But parents have to spend at least as much time listening as they do
talking, Young said.

"That communication piece is what it's all about - that listening to
my son and what he was going through," he said. "It wasn't so much me
imparting my words of wisdom on him, but listening to him."

Parents who suspect their teens are using drugs or alcohol should just
ask them, Marks said.