TOUGH LESSONS

Her son is off drugs - but in prison. Now, Christy Crandell's book aims to
help parents and teens in the fight against addiction.

The house was strangely empty.

"Where is everyone?" Christy Crandell wondered that Sunday morning as she
arrived home from an overnight trip.

She checked her telephone's caller ID for clues.

"Nevada County Sheriff's Department," an entry read.

Crandell's knees buckled.

Ryan, she thought. Something terrible has happened to Ryan.

Soon her husband, Rick, confirmed her suspicions. Their oldest son, a drug
addict who had turned 18 just a few weeks earlier, had been arrested early
that morning for a string of armed robberies in the Sierra Nevada
foothills. Ryan, the product of a privileged upbringing in suburban
Rocklin, was in jail and most likely headed for prison.

"I wanted to throw up," Christy Crandell recalled, her hands folded tightly
in front of her as she sat at her dining room table. "That day, I really
wished he had died rather than have to face what he was facing."

Today, Ryan's home is a 5-by-8-foot cell at Folsom Prison, and his life is
every bit as harrowing as his mother imagined. He has been locked up for
three years now, and most likely will be behind bars until he is 30.

The good news, Ryan said in an interview from prison, is that by virtue of
his circumstances, he has kicked his drug habit.

"Something has changed in me," he said. "It's not even an issue in my life
anymore."

Christy Crandell, meanwhile, is on a mission to make sure other parents
heed the signs of addiction that she and her family missed for years in Ryan.

Crandell's self-published book, "Lost & Found," is being released in
conjunction with national Red Ribbon Week, which focuses on prevention of
drug and alcohol abuse.

It is available on her Web site, www.StopTeenDrugAddiction. com.

"I wish I'd known," Crandell repeats over and over in the book.

She wishes she had known that drugs are a reality even in "good
neighborhoods," inside nice homes, within solid families.

She wishes she had known that addicts are expert liars and manipulators.

She wishes she had known that Ryan's dropping grades and wild mood swings
were red flags.

She wishes she had known enough to wait up for him to come home from nights
out with friends.

She wishes she had known the advantages of drug tests for teens.

And on and on.

"The light bulb just never went on," she said, shaking her head. "I never
thought I'd be here."

From the outside, life seemed idyllic for Rick and Christy Crandell and
their two sons, Ryan and Justin. And for a while, it came close.

Crandell was a stay-at-home mom who volunteered in her children's
classrooms, chaperoned field trips, served as a PTA president and was
active in her church. Rick worked full time and was a coach for Ryan's and
Justin's youth sports teams. Both boys did well in school. Holidays were
boisterous, joyful events, and family vacations included trips to Lake
Tahoe and Disney World.

Of the two boys, Ryan was always the more "challenging" one, constantly
questioning authority and asserting his independence, his mother said.

"I knew his teen years would be tough," Crandell said.

But she never gave a thought to the possibility of drug abuse.

Looking back, she said, the Crandells disregarded a couple of "minor
incidents" that probably should have tipped them off. Once, she overheard
Ryan talking about stealing beer from the refrigerator. Another time, he
admitted that he had smoked marijuana.

No big deal, Crandell thought, recalling her own teenage years.

But by the time he was a sophomore at Rocklin High, Ryan had become moody
and defiant. He started skipping classes and his grades began to drop. The
Crandells were baffled. Their comfortable family life became strained.

"We didn't know what was going on. We just didn't have the right
information," Christy Crandell said.

"You live in a nice community, with nice houses and soccer moms and people
who are very involved with their kids. You just don't think about drug
addiction."

Like most drug abusers, Ryan became a proficient liar and frequently
concocted stories to hide his habit, he writes in a foreword to his
mother's book. He raided the liquor cabinet and the medicine chest at home,
and stole money from his parents to buy cocaine, methamphetamine, marijuana
and other illegal drugs.

"I used anything I could get my hands on," he writes.

At 17, his life spinning out of control, a sobbing Ryan told his parents he
was an addict.

They enrolled him in program after program, only to watch him sabotage
efforts to kick his addiction. One day in March 2003, after confessing that
he was using drugs heavily again, Ryan left the family home.

It was the last time Crandell saw her son in the free world.

During the next 48 hours, according to police, Ryan and two friends robbed
a bookstore, a gas station and three other businesses to get drug money.
When sheriff's deputies stopped the trio's car in downtown Truckee, they
found cash, a knife and a pistol. Ryan, who at 18 was just a year older
than his companions, was the only adult in the group. According to news
reports, sheriff's deputies pushed him to the ground, handcuffed him and
took him to jail.

When the phone rang at the Crandell home that dark morning, Christy was in
Nevada City for an overnight trip with her mother and sister. Rick
Crandell, hoping to spare her a few hours of misery, decided to wait until
she got home to tell her the news. Memories of that day can still bring
Crandell to tears.

"It was devastating," she said. "Devastating."

About a year later, in April 2004, Ryan pleaded guilty to two counts of
armed robbery and was sentenced to 13 years in prison.

Awful thoughts raced through Christy Crandell's head about prison life and
the dangers her "baby" would face living behind bars with hardened
criminals. She mourned the fact that he would virtually lose his young
adulthood. All of the hopes and dreams she had cultivated for him evaporated.

Crandell also felt like a failure as a parent. Most of Ryan's classmates
were getting ready to go away to college. Ryan was going to the state
penitentiary. What would her friends and neighbors think?

As it turned out, most of them rallied around her and her family. They told
her she should write a book. This past summer, with the help of her friend
Cynthia Cutts, she did.

"I took her back through some sad, dark days, and she faced them squarely,"
said Cutts, a school counselor and former reporter and editor. "She was
very brave."

Public speaking used to be one of Crandell's greatest fears. Now, she tells
her story to schoolchildren, parent groups and just about anyone else
willing to listen.

"I believe that this happened to our family for a reason," Crandell said.
"It was meant to be."

In an odd way, Crandell said, prison has given her oldest son back to the
family. He is remorseful for his crimes, and has taken responsibility for them.

"I deserve every minute of my time here," Ryan Crandell told The Bee. "I'm
willing to the pay the price for what I did."

While confined, he said, he has earned his high school equivalency degree,
is taking college correspondence courses and has become a voracious reader,
devouring everything from Pat Conroy's "Beach Music" to Larry McMurtry's
"Lonesome Dove."

"Being here has changed my life," Ryan said by telephone. "It opened my
eyes to all of the pain I caused my family. I grew up in here.

"I know now that I want a family, kids and a career," possibly as a drug
counselor, he said. "It's crystal-clear to me. I won't have time for any of
that other stuff."

Most weekends, Christy and Rick Crandell make their way to Folsom Prison to
visit Ryan. They hold his hands and chat with him in an open area where
other inmates visit with their relatives. The conversations are fairly
mundane. How was their week? How is younger brother Justin doing at the
University of California, Davis? What's new with the family cats, Hope and
Faith?

They never talk about Ryan's release date.

"We don't dwell on that day," his mother said. "It's just too far away."

Inside the cell where Ryan spends most of his time, a light burns 24 hours
a day. He shares his space, which includes two bunks, a toilet and a sink,
with another inmate. He calls his family when he can get time on the prison
phone, and he writes letters filled with regret. All of his communications
are monitored.

"I never meant for this to happen Mom," he wrote in a Mother's Day card to
Christy.

"I am so scared," he said in another missive to his parents. "I wish I
could just come home and be with my family. Start over."

Recently, another inmate took a snapshot of Christy and Ryan with a camera
purchased inside the prison. Their smiles are weary.

Images of Ryan behind bars still haunt Crandell.

"It's not good in there," she said.

"But as bad as it is, prison is a better place than where he was when he
was on drugs.

"If Ryan had not been arrested, he probably would be dead by now. So in a
strange way, it saved my son's life."

Symptoms And Signs Of Adolescent Drug Use

- - Loss of motivation

- - Changes in sleeping patterns

- - Withdrawal from family and regular activity

- - Lying

- - Secretiveness on the phone or computer

- - Dropping grades

- - Truancy

- - Discipline problems at school

- - Disinterest in personal grooming

- - Change in appetite or weight

- - Cough, stuffy nose or frequent sniffling

- - Dilated or constricted pupils, or bloodshot eyes

- - Emotional outbursts, rage, moodiness, depression, irritability, hostility

- - Disappearance of money or items of value at home

- -- From "Lost & Found: A Mother and Son Find Victory Over Teen Drug Addiction."