GEORGE WASHINGTON MAKEOVER

"What do you mean America's youth don't know who George Washington was?"

"Dude?"

"He was our first president, our best president and one of the
primary reasons the experiment called America was able to work. But
of course they don't teach you that in school anymore."

"Dude?"

"Scholars and historians deemed Washington to be our greatest
president in a Wall Street Journal survey. But another survey shows
that Washington's coverage in history textbooks has declined to less
than 10 percent of what it was in the early 1960's."

"Dude?"

"Sure, to your generation Washington was just a boring old guy. He
isn't as captivating as the pop singers, movie stars and professional
athletes you worship. That's why the people at Mt. Vernon,
Washington's estate, had to raise $110 million dollars to reshape
Washington's image."

"Dude?"

"The Mount Vernon people constructed a new orientation center,
education center and museum right on the grounds of Mt. Vernon. These
new facilities, which opened in October, 2006, feature the story of a
younger, studlier George Washington."

"Dude?"

"The presentations are designed to appeal to short-attention-span
kids like you who get most of their information from MTV. A 15-minute
film uses action-packed techniques to feature Washington's
significant accomplishments."

"Duuuuude?"

"No, the film and multimedia presentations do not feature Washington
blowing up terrorists, nor does Arnold Schwarzenegger costar. But
they do tell the story of a remarkable man."

"Dude?"

"Did you know that Washington was born into a modestly well-to-do
family? What little education he got was given to him by his father
and stepbrother. He was a farmer and surveyor and through some
inheritance, shrewd business dealings and hard work, he grew his fortune."

"Dude?"

"From early on he was a natural leader. He had an imposing presence,
standing nearly 6'3" at a time when the average man was about 5'8".
And he was invincible. During one battle in the French and Indian
war, four bullets ripped his coat and two horses were shot from under
him, yet he was unscathed."

"Dude?"

"He represented the rebellious American spirit, you see, and he led
the charge to break away from the restrictions and regulations of the
British. In 1775, he took command of our motley crew of an army and
led it in a war that lasted six grueling years."

"Dude?"

"And, dude, he didn't have much chance of winning against the
British. Nonetheless, he used American ingenuity to completely outwit
them. He retreated when they expected him to fight, he fought when
they expected him to retreat. Many historians believe that no other
man could have won this war. Without Washington, America's history
would have been completely different."

"Dude?"

"After he beat the British, he was so popular he could have become a
king. Instead, he used his immense power to help establish our
Constitution, which grants power to us little folks. Then he
reluctantly became our first president. He wanted nothing to do with
the job, but knew our fledgling government needed his leadership to survive."

"Dude?"

"After eight long years as president, Washington finally returned to
his beloved Mt. Vernon to farm and enjoy life. But he lived only
three years in retirement before dying at the young age of 67."

"Dude?"

"The point is, dude, that one man can make a remarkable difference in
the world. Washington was truly a hero -- a man who lived his life by
simple virtues and a sense of duty. Without Washington, the
experiment we call America might not have worked."

"Dude?"

"That is why the people at Mt. Vernon have gone to so much trouble to
make sure we don't forget Washington's incredible story. I urge you
to visit Mt. Vernon soon and learn all you can about this remarkable
man. Now do you have any questions?"

"Dude?"

"Oh, for goodness sakes. Yes, it's true that Washington grew hemp,
also known as marijuana. But he used it to make rope and clothing. He
didn't smoke it!"

"Duuuuude!"