THE BUZZ ABOUT CANADIANS

Tommy Chong would be proud. The Edmonton-born, Calgary-raised half of
the '70s stoner-comedy duo Cheech & Chong (Big Bambu, Cheech &
Chong's Wedding Album) has been a lifelong advocate for marijuana
legalization. He even served nine months in a U.S. federal prison as
recently as 2003-04 for selling "drug-related paraphernalia."

If he's heard (he now lives in California), Chong is probably tickled
that his old country is #1 in the industrialized world for pot smoking.

I'll admit I was surprised to learn Canada is the top marijuana-using
nation according to a UN Office on Drugs and Crime survey released
last week. In a way, that's so, well, un-Canadian. Us? The top tokers
in the Western world?

No. Surely it must be the Dutch. Pot is legal in the Netherlands.
It's sold in storefronts. You can smoke it openly in the street (or
at least in those public locations where smoking of any kind is still
permitted).

Or if not the Dutch, then those laid-back Frenchmen or the
vice-friendly Germans. And, don't forget, the Scandinavians are part
of the industrialized world. They're pretty free and easy up there.
Is the UN sure the Danes, Swedes or Norwegians aren't puffing ahead
of us? (I'd include the Finns, too, but we already know they're mad
for vodka -- and the tango.)

But while I'm always dubious of international studies of personal
behaviour that are based on self-reporting and compare very different
data samples, if you think about it, marijuana is in many ways
exactly the drug we'd choose.

It's buzz is mild compared to cocaine (where Spain was tops), heroin
(Iran), ecstasy (Australia) or amphetamines (Philippines). Marijuana
is even less likely to produce strong impairment compared to alcohol.

All of which, in a way, makes it very Canadian: It will make you
high, but not too high. We're a country that prides itself on being
nice, and pot produces a "nice" high, rather than an extreme one.

It doesn't make you violent. It's less likely than beer to convince
you to engage in risky sexual behaviour or drive you pickup madly
down a narrow two-lane country road.

Potheads seldom trash bars, dorm rooms or parent-absent party houses.
In other words, marijuana is a drug you can use without fear of
making a scene or going wild. If anything, it is more likely to make
you maudlin and compassionate. "I love you, man. No, really, I love
you." What could be more Canadian than that?

Perhaps Ottawa should consider changing the greeting signs at border
crossings, airports and harbours: Welcome to Canada: The High (But
Not Too High) White North.

There's another way our marijuana use is very much in keeping with
our national character: Usage differs greatly between Quebec and the
rest of the country. Indeed, Canada only makes it to the top of the
cannabis heap because of Quebec's stats. And not all Quebecers,
mostly just Quebecois. We may finally have discovered why Pepsi and
snack cakes, poutine and other "munchies" are so popular in Quebec.
On Sunday, the Montreal Gazette reported "were it not for prodigious
pot use in Quebec, Canada would not have placed first."

According to the newspaper, "32% of students in Grades seven to nine
in Quebec have smoked marijuana at least once. This compares with 18%
in British Columbia, which ranked second in Canada, and 11% in
Ontario, which ranked lowest among provinces and territories."

And it is mostly young francophones. Of junior and senior high
schools studied (by other researchers, not the UN), "no
English-language schools were in the top 25."

And where are these young Quebecois learning their habits? Why from
their parents, of course. Overall, marijuana use in Quebec is at
least 12% higher than in the rest of the country.

There is nothing wrong with this. I have never used marijuana. (I'm
too straight-laced even to drink.) But I have long favoured
legalizing marijuana -- not merely decriminalizing it.

As the father of a junior-high student (and soon to be two), I have
only one real concern about marijuana over alcohol -- dealers now
frequently lace dope with crystal meth to addict young users to harder drugs.

But even that would be taken care of by legalization. Legal pot
growers wouldn't doctor their product in order to hook customers on
illegal substances.

The violence, too, surrounding grow-ops and trafficking would cease
with legalization.

I know it's too bold a move-- very un-Canadian-- to move past
decriminalization to legalization. But, hey, man, we're a reefer nation.