OH, HENRY: YOU SHOULD BE A SHORT STORY

Hey, Travis Henry. Rolling a blunt might be the lone
way bummed-out Broncomaniacs can kill the pain of San Diego 41, Denver
3. Know where your fans can score some marijuana?

Yanking up jeans after the worst home loss by the local pro football
team since the 1960s, Henry turned from a semicircle of TV cameras
waiting at his locker stall, sprayed on deodorant to cover the stench
and did what he does best: run.

"I'm good," Henry insisted Sunday, before ducking out the
door.

In reality, he's bad news.

With problems that range from fathering children out of wedlock to
running afoul of the league's substance-abuse policy, Henry has become
an embarrassment and distraction to an NFL franchise that has done
Denver proud for decades.

But know what's really dopey?

Henry is a no-account slacker who gives marijuana a bad
name.

The league seems prepared to punish Henry with a one-year ban for
smoking weed.

The Broncos, however, need to seriously think about parting ways with
Henry before this team goes to pot. He's even better at making ugly
headlines than scoring big touchdowns.

"It's a distraction for him, because he's got to talk about it," said
coach Mike Shanahan, whose preparation for the Chargers was
interrupted by the latest marijuana stink surrounding Henry.
"Obviously, I had to address it, but besides that, it's no reason for
the performance we had."

No matter how Shanahan tries to stuff a rug under the dressing-room
door, it seems obvious there's something sticky and icky in the image-
conscious NFL when lighting a joint could cost a player his job, but
irresponsible, unprotected sex is no big deal.

"It's a far more egregious offense to not pay child support than to
use marijuana," said Mason Tvert, executive director of SAFER, a local
group that works to decriminalize marijuana. "This only goes to show
you the skewed priorities of a league that says it's concerned about
character issues."

The scoreboard is all that matters to most Broncomaniacs, though. As
the league's leading rusher in September, Henry's vices did not stop
fans from cheering him.

Of course, his Boy Scout merit badges were not the reason Denver
obtained Henry. Shanahan is all for winning the Super Bowl and
granting athletes a second chance, both laudable traits in a coach.

When the product on the field begins to shame the city and Shanahan
the way the Broncos did Sunday, it's not out of line to wonder if the
team has the character to get through these tough times.

Henry is "a teammate. We pride ourselves on being family members, and
when a family member is in trouble, you don't leave him out there,"
said Broncos safety John Lynch, one of the best role models you will
find in sports. "You try to support him in any way you can. But
distractions like that aren't helpful for a team, that's for certain."

When a judge ordered Henry to establish a $250,000 trust fund for
child support earlier this year after it was alleged he fathered as
many as nine kids with nine different women in four different states,
the new Broncos star told The Post: "Only God can judge me."

Heaven can wait.

In the near future, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is going to sit in
judgment of Henry, who filed a lawsuit to stop the league from
suspending him for his third drug bust.

I wouldn't be surprised if Henry adopts the Cherry Garcia defense:
Those other stoners were blowing smoke in the same room where our
favorite tailback was doing nothing worse than eating ice cream.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

He can't lose this job with the Broncos, because babies always need
new shoes, and Henry apparently has a lot of mouths to feed.

In a league in which beer is pushed from the instant spectators enter
the stadium gates, at a time when the real drug threats to the NFL's
integrity are human growth hormone and designer steroids, I shared a
laugh with Henry months ago about a league that seems obsessed with
stamping out weed.

"Marijuana is not a performance-enhancing drug when it comes to being
an athlete. If it was, that would run counter to all the stereotypes
about how marijuana makes you lazy and a stoner and unable to
accomplish anything," Tvert said.

The NFL thinks Henry smokes dope. After losing three straight games
with the Broncos, could anyone blame him?

Henry can tote that rock. And maybe it's none of our business what he
does behind closed doors.

But instead of a signing bonus, maybe the Broncos should have given
him a lifetime supply of condoms, or included a vasectomy in the team
physical.

What should Denver do with a running back who, if nothing else, seems
guilty of habitual stupidity?

Just say no.