EX-ADDICT, 16, 'JUST WANTED TO BE COOL'

Speed and Ecstasy Took Over Her Life

At almost 5-foot-8 and 125 pounds, she is lithe and slender in the
manner of many 16-year-old girls - except for one thing.

"I've put on 30 pounds in the past year," she said.

Let's call her Nancy, because as an underage minor in an alternative
downtown high school for kids with drug problems, she can't be
identified by her real name.

A year ago last month, Nancy's dependency on two illegal drugs, speed
and ecstasy, came to a head when she fainted outside the Rosemont
metro station. Friends notified her father, who came to get her. It
wasn't hard to lift her up. She weighed only 95 pounds.

Speed made Nancy feel good at first, when she took it occasionally at
house parties. But as occasional use became daily use, she became
hyper-speedy herself.

"I could easily go a whole week without eating or sleeping at all,"
she said.

Since last February, Nancy has been a student at the alternative high
school attached to Centre Dollard Cormier, the agency that
co-ordinates French-language drug-rehabilitation services on the
island of Montreal. She is one of 11 students at the school, which has
a capacity of 14.

Nancy isn't even sure herself how she got into drugs.

"I just remember wanting to be cool and to have tough friends," she
explained yesterday during a morning break at school.

She said there were no family problems that led her to abuse drugs.
Her parents hadn't split up, and never abused drugs or alcohol
themselves; her 18-year-old brother - though he has used drugs
occasionally - never had a problem with substance abuse.

And yet, Nancy started smoking in Grade 5, and by age 13, she was
going out with 19-year-old men. She was also getting into trouble with
the law, and as a result her parents and police arranged for her, at
13, to spend time in a group home.

She dropped out of school, first from Ecole secondaire Louis Riel on
de Carignan Ave. in the east end, then this school and that school.
During the day, she'd visit friends and acquaintances. At night, she
would party.

The speed hangovers, she said, were terrible.

"They were disgusting. Two days to recuperate after one night of use.
Imagine a whole week after no food and no sleep."

Nancy added: "When you stop using, all the trouble you caused, all the
people you hurt - it all comes back to haunt you. I couldn't look
other people in the eye for a while. I couldn't even look at myself in
the mirror, I was so ashamed."

She's the picture of youth and vitality now - all the more so because
of the 30 healthy pounds she put on since shedding her abuse of two
troublesome stimulants that are easy for kids to procure.

"If I could say one thing to people hooked like I was, it is that if
you are trying to destroy yourself, then keep on doing what you're
doing. But if you want to save yourself, it's not too late."