DRUG LAW IS NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT

"Hi. My name is Winston, and I have allergies."

"Hi Winston."

"Tell us your story, Winston. Tell us how you wound up at Allergics
Anonymous."

"Well, the court sent me here for buying too much
pseudoephedrine."

"So, you've been buying substances to make the devil drug
methamphetamine."

"No. I was trying to buy enough Sudafed to help me
breath."

"Winston. You're in denial."

"No, I'm not."

"You're denying that you're in denial?"

"No. I'm not denying I'm in denial. Wait. What?

"More denial. And confusion. Don't worry, Winston. We're here to
support you."

"I don't need support. I just need to breath during allergy
season."

"More denial. So, you're only a part-time user of meth?

"I'm not an anytime user of meth. I just want to breath."

"Have you tried getting in touch with your spiritual
side?"

"If my spiritual side would help a stuffed-up nose, I'd have already
been in touch with it."

"So, you're not willing yet to take the first step. That's a normal
reaction, Winston. Just relax and tell us your story."

"Look, I just need pseudoephedrine to breath. OK? I don't mix it with
that other stuff to make meth."

"So, what do you mix it with, Winston?"

"Are you deaf? I don't mix it. I just need it to breath."

"Anger is a typical reaction, Winston. Just tell us the whole
story."

"Listen, dammit. I'm not mad. I've got a family of four, I bought
Sudafed, got stopped for speeding, and, apparently, had too much
psedo ... whatever ... laying around in the truck."

"That's it, Winston. Let the anger out. I hope the rest of you are
learning from this."

"Look, all Arkansas pharmacies selling products containing
pseudoephedrine are now logging the sales of things like Sudafed
online, allowing law-enforcement officials to monitor the sales. I'm
tired of getting treated like a criminal every time I get a cold."

"So now, you're blaming the police?"

"No. They're just doing their job. I'm blaming a law that can punish
innocent people who just want to breath."

"So, you're blaming the law?"

"No. Wait. Maybe. It's just a dumb law that can possibly trap
innocent people instead of targeting drug makers."

"And, you're saying you're not a drug maker? Again, denial is a
natural reaction, Winston. But, until you admit you have a problem,
we can't help you."

"OK. I have a problem. I can't breathe."

"That's not your only problem, Winston."

"Well, here's my other problem. The Legislature has allocated
$591,000 in setup costs for a logbook this year to help track sales,
with another $392,000 pledged for next year. Why not put that into
drug awareness programs, or targeting other chemicals that go into
making meth? Instead, they're putting law enforcement
responsibilities on the pharmacists"

"But Winston. The law has cut down on the manufacture of meth. Don't
you want to help society?"

"I don't care about society. I just want to breathe."

"Winston. Be careful. The thought police monitor these meetings.
Careful that you're not charged with a thought crime in addition to
your drug use."

"OK, OK, you're right. Pharmacists should control the world. We
should just all ignore all the other ingredients that go into the
making of meth. We should pour all our money into restricting the
sale of allergy medicine."

"Now, you're making progress, Winston."

"We should ignore extra funding for drug enforcement or funding of
cleanup of existing meth labs, and instead, focus on signatures. We
should just pass laws that make us feel good."

"Very good, Winston. Big Brother is happy. Now, sign your name that
you've attended this class, we'll log it with the police, and see you
next week."