A 'PERSON WITH AN ADDICTION' IS NOT AN 'ADDICT'

At the Gathering 2008, Dr. R. King spoke of his work with our youth
addiction treatment centre near Sussex, know as Portage.

I was impressed by one comment in particular. He said we should not
use the word "addict" to refer to a "person with an addiction."

His point being that they are much more than their addictions and
addressing them as such takes away their identity as a person.

I had just finished my address, having used the word "addict" in such
a context. Lesson learned.

Before speaking to the gathering, I had called John to ask him what I
needed to share on his and other "persons with addictions" behalf.

I often do this. John is my mentor. As a "person with an addiction,"
John has the ability to express what he sees in his own mind.

His message was simple and clear.

"Tell them," he said, "that the first thing I had to do, in order to
beat my addictions, was to get out of my mind."

Speaking from years of conditioning where his mind had been taught to
think of himself as an addict, as a loser and as someone who could
never amount to anything, he was indeed being very literal when he
referred to having to get out of "his mind."

His norm was not the one you and I may have experienced and because of
that past, his norm was fraught with negatives at all levels.

Hope did not exist. Family could not be supportive. Life, as he knew
it, was all about failings.

As an adult, suddenly, he was expected to bypass a lifetime of
negative conditioning and become healed overnight. How unrealistic is
that?

Yet we hear and see people with these expectations
everywhere.

John's life at 44 could be described in a rather negative nutshell.
Addicted at age 12, born into a troubled family, he remained homeless
for many years.

All forms of addiction had become his norm: smoking, sex, drugs,
alcohol and gambling. His additions were complicated by mood swings he
thought were best managed by street drugs.

You might say he had the full gambit of what could go wrong in a life,
and he exemplified them all.

By 47, John has a small window of positives. He has recognized that he
cannot solve his issues alone, has reached out for help from an AA
group and he uses native spiritual practices in a sweat lodge to help
cleanse his body, mind and spirit.

Is he cured? No. Nor will he ever be cured.

His condition will be managed, with a great deal of support and
encouragement. He will fall every once in awhile and he will stand
back up and fight. At this time he is fighting a new bout of gambling.

Yet, in his short years of success, he has been keeping a full-time
job, with issues being worked out through several supporters.

He is, as we speak, "a person with an addiction."

His ability to understand himself has grown a great deal. His ability
to understand his work environment is now also growing but, like most
of us, he will never be free from all negative influences.

For John, whose favourite expression is "Of my God" when he cannot
believe what others do around him, his journey will include working
with power trippers, some selfish and ego-centric persons who like to
take others down, as well as those who help him.

His battle will be no different than ours: he will have to see them as
persons with problems, just as we need to see him as "a person with an
addiction."

How can we learn to see people as people, no matter what their
problems?

First, we must find the flaws in ourselves. Then we may appreciate
just how human we all are.