THE OTHER VICTIMS OF DRUG ABUSE

Parents And Others Concerned About Addiction Band Together To Share
Their Stories

As Leona Hay sat through the memorial service for her son, one thing
kept going through her mind.

"I felt compelled to tell Shane's story," Hay said. "Pounding at the
back of my brain was the question: 'What am I going to do with this?'"

Hay, of Bristol, spent three years watching her son turn into a drug
addict. She thought things had turned around when he stayed clean for
eight months, but then he relapsed and died of a heroin overdose in
March 2006. He was 26 and is survived by two young children of his own.

Hay wanted to tell others about her experience to prevent them from
going through the same nightmare. Hay searched but could not find an
organization interested in hearing about Shane's death.

Then she got a call from Mary Marcuccio.

Marcuccio, of Southington, was just starting what would become a
highly visible campaign to spread awareness about increasing heroin
use among youth in Southington. And she needed people like Hay.

"My goal all along was to bring forward families who've lost
children," Marcuccio said. "Who has more credentials to speak about
this than they do?"

The vehicle for Marcuccio's campaign is a group she helped start last
year, Parents 4 A Change. Its members include parents who have lost
children to drugs and parents concerned about their young children.

Marcuccio said her group plans on seeking reforms to state laws to
help families of drug addicts. One priority is a law requiring some
addicts to enter and stay in rehabilitation programs, whether they
want to or not. She said many of the laws her group is pursuing are
already in place in Massachusetts.

Promoting possible treatments for addiction is another priority for
Parents 4 A Change. Marcuccio said members recently visited a doctor
in Massachusetts who is experimenting with a pill that is implanted in
the body and slowly releases a drug that inhibits an addict's urge.

But a key part of Marcuccio's agenda is publicizing heroin use in
suburbia.

For that she needed to get people like Hay and David Merrills of
Farmington to talk about what they went through. Merrills' son,
Andrew, died in 2002 from a heroin overdose after he injected the drug
at a condo in Simsbury that police later described as an illicit drug store.

"We have an enormous problem," Merrills said. "People think that these
drugs are only in Hartford and that they don't come out to leafy
suburbs like Farmington."

Merrills had already done some public speaking about his son's death
when he saw a newspaper article last year about Marcuccio and Parents
4 A Change. Interested in what she was doing, he asked to meet her.

"I said to her, 'How can I help? All I have is a story to tell,'"
Merrills said.

Marcuccio hopes people like Hay and Merrills will show that the death
of a child to drug abuse can happen to anyone and break down the
stereotype of drug users.

"Addicts are viewed as bad, and young addicts are seen as the products
of bad parenting," Marcuccio said. "I want to get people to realize
that these kids are often smart and come from upper middle-class
families that pay taxes, live in nice homes and have raised their
children right. Too many people don't understand that."

Marcuccio is reluctant to discuss what prompted her to start Parents 4
A Change except to say that it is related to her experience with a
family member's drug problem. But she has not lost a child to a drug
overdose, and that makes it difficult to ask someone who has to talk
about it.

"I was nervous about doing it, for reasons that still make me
nervous," Marcuccio said. "I don't feel qualified to ask them because
unless you've been there, you can't really understand it. Am I
qualified? I think that I have an interest and that I'm morally
qualified. But I'm afraid that the person will say, 'Who are you to ask?'"

But the people Marcuccio has recruited say they are grateful for what
she has given them. They say Parents 4 A Change is essential to them
as a support group and as a place to network with others who have been
through what they have. They also have welcomed the opportunity to
speak about their losses.

"By having parents come forward together, we are saying addiction is
not a dirty little secret," said Marilyn Babiarz, of Southington.
"We're standing up and saying, 'No, it's not our fault. This is
society's problem, it is part of the world we're raising our kids in,
so let's deal with it.'"

Babiarz was confronted with the problem of drug abuse when she and her
husband took in a young man who was a friend of their daughter. Mark
Gilbert could not live with his parents because of his drug use and
other issues. He moved into the Babiarzes' home and essentially became
part of their family.

The Babiarzes struggled to help him kick the habit. He died last year
from a heroin overdose, after being clean for six months.

Babiarz and others say that by forming a group that has relentlessly
publicized the problem of drug abuse and lobbied local officials to
pay attention, Marcuccio has done something they could not do.

"I don't want anyone to go through what I did," said David Dubois, of
Southington. His daughter, Alisha, died in January 2007 from a heroin
overdose, shortly before she was to start an outpatient rehabilitation
program.

"I want to do something in Alisha's memory," Dubois said. "But I
couldn't do this by myself. With Parents 4 A Change, I have a perfect
place to heal and be with a group that can get a lot done."

Marcuccio and her group have become among the most visible and vocal
people in Southington demanding that the town pay attention to what
they describe as an epidemic of drug use in town. They are
particularly concerned about opiates such as prescription painkillers
and heroin. In the year since Marcuccio got started, she has spoken at
town government meetings and organized forums where Hay and others
also have spoken about their losses.

Superintendent of Schools Joseph Erardi was in his position just a few
weeks in October when he hosted a forum on drug use issues that came
about in large part because of pressure from Marcuccio and others.
Erardi said Marcuccio introduced herself the night he was appointed.
He has met with her numerous times since then and credits her for
pressing the issue.

"I don't think I've ever worked with someone who had the kind of
passion for an issue that Mary has," he said.