LET'S FEDERALIZE ALL CRIMES, AND GET RID OF STATES

In its prosecution of the so-called ``war on drugs,'' the federal
government has taken over powers usually reserved to state and local
governments. For instance, if a person grows, harvests and sells marijuana
all within the borders of a single state, one would assume the federal
government has no jurisdiction.

However, think again: Congress, in its infinite wisdom, decided long ago
that the ``local distribution and possession of controlled substances
contribute to swelling the interstate traffic in such substances.'' The
courts, including the Supreme Court, of course acquiesced to Congress.
After all, this is a holy war on drugs.

In fact, the Supreme Court has held for several decades now that behavior
consummated totally within a state, but that has an ``effect'' on
interstate commerce, can be regulated by the federal government. That is
how all firearms are federally regulated. They are made in one state and
shipped to another. You buy it; you come under federal regulations.

Similarly, the federal carjacking law is based on the premise that because
an automobile is manufactured in one state and sold in another, it can be
regulated by the feds. So, if some young punk forces you from your car and
steals it, he has now committed a federal crime without having to cross a
state line.

I guess this is all well and good. The American public is not complaining
much about the widening sphere of federalism.

Indeed, building on the premises for these laws, we can now make drunk
driving a federal crime. Here's how it would work: The federal government
would have jurisdiction because the drunk would be driving an automobile
that was shipped via interstate commerce on roads that were paid for (at
least in part) with federal funds while under the influence of alcohol that
was probably shipped interstate.

There are probably more reasons why drunk driving, as well as the drunk
himself, could be regulated directly by federal law - but why bother? It is
clear that under the present drift any crime could be made federal now.
Say, for instance, parking tickets - or shoplifting.

I say it's about time, then. Let's get rid of states and make them all
federal districts. Then we could have one central government controlling
everything from Washington, D.C. It's the next logical step in the
evolution of our nation.

Checked-by: Richard Lake