MARADONA'S FIDELITY

In the game of one-upmanship, the communists seem to be gaining the
upper hand over capitalist ideologues. In fact, if one were to go by
recent news reports, even the `hand of God' has come to rest on a
communist shoulder.

No, this is not a joke, this is literally what has transpired over the
past few weeks. The legendary Argentine football idol Maradona, known
also as the `hand of God', and who is seen as a capitalist success
story -- an impoverished footballer whose enterprise helped him become
`fabulously' rich, thanks to some of the world's most influential
entrepreneurs -- has sought refuge from the material world by landing
in communist Cuba. He has asked Fidel Castro, the country's
charismatic leader who he describes ``as a fellow rebel'', to save his
life. Apparently, Maradona is addicted to cocaine (a particularly
pernicious intoxicant) which he claims is killing him. Capitalists
around the world are appalled at the turn of events.

For not only has Maradona rebelled against private enterprise but even
more worryingly he has chosen to denounce the very `lifestyle' that
most people in capitalist societies work so hard to achieve.

Having lost their prodigal son and one of their most celebrated
mascots, the free world in a bid to save face, has chosen to underplay
its disappointment. And even before the communists could capitalise on
this unexpected development, most free-worlders have declared that
Maradona was never a ``true capitalist'', let alone a successful one.
For successful capitalists, they say, are shrewd and seldom make bad
investments; and they would, most certainly, have shied away from
investing in an obviously money draining habit, such as taking drugs.

The inimitable Castro has, however, lost no time in welcoming Maradona
to Cuba. Castro, who revels in theatrics and propaganda, has
`generously' announced that the state will bear the cost of Maradona's
drug treatment.

Expectedly, his is not a philanthropic decision; nor has it been taken
in the interests of the Cuban public. His decision is purely a
strategic one. Castro it seems is keen that Maradona -- who is now his
man in Havana -- is successfully rehabilitated. Because on the basis
of this success he can hope to develop a `drying out service' that he
could aggressively market to the international community. The service
will cause the upwardly mobile junkies of the world to unite and fight
- -- albeit at a phenomenal cost -- their consuming addiction.

Though an obviously capitalist business enterprise, Castro expects to
succeed in selling it to his people.

His reasoning is that once half of Hollywood, and nearly all the Wall
Street types who have glorified ``cocaine chic'', successfully kick
the drug habit, they will return to the US and become propagandists to
help Cuba earn some valuable brownie points.