COMEDY OF ERRORS: QUESTIONS FOR ANDY DICK

Q - You were arrested for drug possession, driving under the influence and
leaving the scene of an accident. What is your status these days, legally?

A - I'm on probation. But you should do the interview with my lawyer if you
want to know about that. I just do what I'm told, which is to show up in
court, stay clean and sober, go to your program, check in with your
probation officer. And when you talk to the judge, you can't say, Yes, sir,
and No, sir. You say, Yes, your honor.

Q - I'll keep this in mind next time I'm on probation.

A- Have you been on probation before?

Q- No. But it's handy information.

A- I've been sober a year and nine months, which is quite a long time for
someone like me.

Q - Why did you choose to tell all about your addiction on "Howard Stern"?

A - I was thinking about that this morning, how embarrassingly painful that
was. That's where alcoholics sink to if they don't handle their alcoholism.
There is always some kind of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
Mine happened to be on national radio.

Q - As a comedian, how does it feel to see yourself ridiculed on "Saturday
Night Live"?

A - Oh, "Saturday Night Live" was not the only one. It was "The Simpsons,"
it was "South Park," it was "The Martin Short Show"; Howard Stern, David
Letterman made some comments. Pretty much every show that had anything to
do with comedy made its version of an Andy Dick joke. To kick somebody when
the man's down is just sad and mean. And I don't need any help making
myself look like a fool. I do it all on my own, thank you very much.

Q - Even at the lowest point of your addiction, you've used your personal
life for material.

A - That's part of my problem, that I don't have a filter in my mind, and I
just let it hang out. That is a flaw. Most people have boundaries. I'm
working on that.

Q - But do you really want to have a filter?

A - Yes, I would like to keep some things about my private life to myself.
But there are things I've said in the press that are going to haunt me for
the rest of my life.

Q - You mean talking about your bisexuality?

A - That and other things. I didn't have a lot of guidance growing up.

Q - You admitted that you once did a tap dance to the song "Stray Cat
Strut" to win a high-school talent contest. Could anything be more
embarrassing than that?

A - No, that's awesome. Somebody has a videotape of that. I can still tap
dance. I was trying to get Robert Downey Jr. to do a tap dance on my show,
but you have to choreograph something like that. You can't just show up
with a camera and some tap shoes.

Q - Is there a connection between comedy and self-destructive behavior?

A - Maybe. I think there are a lot of funny people who are not addictive.
But one of the things about addictive personalities or alcoholics, I
honestly do believe that they're very sensitive and highly creative people,
and that's one of the reasons they tend to lean toward the drink. They just
want to numb all the overwhelming emotions and feelings.

Q - How does recovery play into your comedy now?

A - Only in that I feel the more sobriety I have, the sharper I get. I'm
more in touch with reality. And the only way I can deal with reality is by
laughing. That's what I was trying to do when I was drinking. I was just
trying to have it be great all the time. Nothing stinks; it's all great,
'cause I'm drunk.

Q - And now? Are you happy?

A - Oh, God, I stopped chasing happiness about two years ago. That was part
of the drug use and alcohol abuse. Now I pursue a sense of satisfaction
that I've accomplished something.