VEEP NAME GAME -- 'TRAFFIC' TIP -- CAPITOL COMEDY

Speculation is rife over possible replacements for Vice President Dick
Cheney should he be forced to retire because of persistent heart problems.

The leading candidate in GOP circles is the man who reportedly was
President Bush's first choice for the job - Secretary of State Colin
Powell, who bowed to his wife's wishes and demurred. But there's a
difference, some note, between campaigning for the job and having it handed
to you.

Also mentioned is Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, originally passed over
because of his position in favor of abortion rights, and former Sen. Slade
Gorton, R-Wash.

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President Bush is considering lowering the profile of the White House drug
enforcement office against the advice of former Republican drug enforcement
director Bill Bennett.

Bennett is getting some support from The Lindesmith Center, a New York drug
policy organization that supports treatment, rather than punishment, for
drug abusers.

Lindesmith's executive director, Ethan Nadelmann, says Bush should take a
look at the Hollywood movie "Traffic" and appoint someone like the hero
played by Michael Douglas who will "think outside the box" and adopt new
policies of deterrence to keep drug-abusers out of jail.

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Here's another Internet first: A Web campaign designed to lobby the White
House to reappoint an ambassador.

A California businessman set up the site to boost the prospects of James
Rosapepe staying on as ambassador to Romania.

This cyber-effort did not go over well at the State Department, where such
matters are commonly handled with discretion. So Rosapepe backers prevailed
on the businessman to take down the site.

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It's beginning to look like the FBI nabbed suspected Russian spy Robert
Hanssen just in time. FBI records indicate that at the time of his arrest
Hanssen was five weeks from being able to claim a $60,000-a-year pension.

Now, says Rep. Scott McInnis, R-Colo., there's a debate in the FBI whether
to let him claim the pension for his family. McInnis is leading the fight
to prevent the pension from being collected.

"One does not reward one of the worst spies in the history of this
country," McInnis said.

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It wasn't long ago that the U.S. was bashing Serbia for helping Saddam
Hussein rebuild Iraqi air defenses hammered by American missiles during
1999's Operation Desert Fox. Word comes now that at least some in the upper
ranks of Yugoslavia's military want the Iraqi leader gone as much as they
wanted the ouster of their own dictator, Slobodan Milosevic.

During last month's missile attack on Iraqi military sites, high-level
Yugoslav officers gave Britain - which joined the U.S. in the barrage -
handy intelligence on the expert assistance previously provided to the
Iraqis. Milosevic's replacement - Yugoslav president Vojislav Kostunica -
reportedly went ballistic when he heard about the help and ordered a probe
to find the source.

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The weathermen - especially climate change researchers - who hang out at
the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration /National Weather
Service are waiting to see which way the wind's going to be blowing for
them in the Bush administration.

While the far-flung agency has a lot of good will in Congress, the global
warming undertones so embraced by former Vice President Al Gore are
unpopular with administration conservatives.

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Got a mouse and an Internet connection? You have everything you need to
apply for a federal student grant or loan. The Department of Education has
updated its online Free Application for Federal Student Aid. You can apply
for Pell Grants, which range from $400 to $3,300, or Federal Supplemental
Educational Opportunity Grants ranging from $100 to $4,000. Just direct
your browser to http://www.ed.gov.

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It's only now coming out that Americans should thank the U.S. Customs
Service for its Valentine's Day gift to America. Customs' computer systems
badly needed updating and other work, but the service delayed it until
after Feb. 14 so as not to throw a thorn in the delivery of tons of flowers
arriving at U.S. airports from overseas, bound for florists and bouquets.

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Who's the funniest woman on Capitol Hill? Rep. Anne Northup, R-Ky.,
according to the Marshalls' Women In Comedy Festival. Northup won the
distinction by submitting the wittiest political joke in a contest among
the nation's women lawmakers. The winner was chosen by a committee that
included comedian Paula Poundstone.

Northup's winning entry: Two politicians are holding a debate when one
suddenly shouts, "You're lying!" To this, the other responds, "I know, but
hear me out."

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To tell if a youth is going to smoke pot, look at his friends and their
attitudes, suggests a national study by the Substance Abuse and Mental
Health Services Administration.

The study found the odds of youths aged 12 to 17 using marijuana in the
past year were 39 times higher among those who had at least a few close
friends who tried or used marijuana than among those who did not have such
friends.

The odds of 12- to 17-year-olds using marijuana in the past year were 16
times higher among adolescents who thought their friends would not be
"very" upset if they tried marijuana once or twice than among those whose
friends felt differently.

On the other side of the coin, a "just say no" attitude among friends can
inhibit drug use, the study found.

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Since 1996, the U.S. Department of Transportation has had legal authority
to regulate interstate moving companies, but has done little to curb
consumer complaints about overcharges and damaged goods, auditors say.

About 1.5 million households use commercial firms for interstate moves each
year, and local Better Business Bureaus are getting many of the complaints,
a study found. The department should be leading a public education campaign
about the best ways to deal with moving companies and address complaints
about service or billing, the congressional General Accounting Office said.

QUOTABLE:

"Would you like to wear a spouse pin?" Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, offering a
congressional security pass to fiance Liz Mikropoulos of Bellaire, Ohio,
who initially didn't understand what it meant, but agreed to a May wedding.