SERIOUSLY ILL JOIN MARIJUANA BUYERS' CLUBS FOR MEDICINE

On a fiercely rainy night in March, a small group of people ventured out
and gathered in a coffee shop in Manhattan to break the law.

They all had an incurable disease. And they all believed that smoking
marijuana helped them cope. These people, with illnesses ranging from AIDS
to aggressive arthritis, meet weekly to buy marijuana in the relative
safety of a club that they say is a lifeline.

Danny, a South American who is a member of the New York Medical Marijuana
Patients' Cooperative, said that an AIDS medication he was taking made him
feel "like I was eating metal."

Danny, who knew he was breaking the law and did not want his last name
used, said he would regularly skip the medicine because of its side
effects. But, he said, "When I started smoking those feelings started going
away, and that's the main reason I like to smoke."

For those who turn to marijuana to alleviate the nausea that results from
chemotherapy, the eye pressure from glaucoma and the weight loss from AIDS,
there are several groups that buy and distribute the drug for patients.
These marijuana clubs typically buy marijuana and sell it to patients who
have registered with them.

For patients who would not know how else to obtain marijuana, the club is a
welcome alternative to buying on the street.

The clubs said that having a list of members' names and illnesses could
provide a measure of protection against charges that they were simply
dealing drugs for profit.

But some opponents of drug use fear any legalized use of marijuana. Nicole
Guide, who is H.I.V. positive, runs the Brooklyn-based charity Hope's Alive
to supply AIDS medication to children in the Caribbean. Ms. Guide, a former
drug addict, said that legalization would weaken the antidrug message aimed
at adolescents. "Now they are going to say marijuana fixes everything," she
said. "How can we as parents fight that? We can't."

New York has had a medical marijuana law since 1980, although it has never
been fully carried out. So the people the law was intended to protect,
those who do smoke marijuana to relieve a medical condition, have
technically been committing a crime.

Assemblyman Richard N. Gottfried, a Manhattan Democrat, has written a bill
that would effectively legalize marijuana for the sick. He said the federal
government has approved the use of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the active
ingredient in marijuana, in pill form.

"The idea that the drug laws are focused on whether you take your THC in a
pill form from a major drug company or by inhaling makes no sense," he
said. "Doctors are allowed to prescribe controlled substances for medical
purposes, like morphine, codeine and Valium. Nobody thinks that undermines
our antidrug message to young people."

Marijuana club organizers said the majority of their members in New York
City were H.I.V. positive. No one was sure of how many clubs there were,
but John Sheridan, a founding member of Cannabis Care, a state-registered
lobby group, estimated that there were seven currently in the city.

Many of the people at the clubs have tried Marinol, the brand name of THC
in pill form, without success. "Marinol's effects became unpredictable,"
said Mr. Sheridan, who has AIDS. "Sometimes nothing would happen. Sometimes
I would suddenly get so hungry I would want to throw up."

Doctors have said that no pill worked for everyone. "The best way to
deliver a drug directly into circulation is inhalation," said Dr. John S.
Macdonald, medical director at St. Vincent Comprehensive Cancer Center in
Manhattan. "The problem with inhaling something that is burning is that it
can do significant damage to the lungs."

Groups that have dealt with substance abuse problems see the potential harm
to be more than just physical. Joseph A. Califano Jr., the former secretary
of Health, Education and Welfare who is president of the National Center on
Addiction and Substance Abuse, said politicians did not know enough about
marijuana as medicine to legislate on it. "Legalization of drugs would be a
disaster for children," he said, "and that's what it would be about."

Howard Simon, a spokesman for the Partnership for a Drug Free America, said
some medical marijuana supporters had ulterior motives. "The state-based
referenda campaigns have been largely supported and funded by those in
favor of decriminalization and/or legalization," he said.

Yet, Mr. Simon would not condemn the users of medical marijuana, leaving
the decision to the medical community. "There are established processes in
this country that tell us what is safe and effective medicine," he said.
"Marijuana has not gone through those processes."

Mr. Sheridan said the movement to provide medical marijuana in the city was
overly decentralized. "The fractious nature of New York politics, and its
diversity, make for very odd bedfellows," he said. "Everything from
left-wing hippies to right-wing rabbis -- this is their drug of last resort."

Proof could be found at a meeting of the patients' cooperative last month.

"My politics are a little conservative; I like Giuliani," said Robert, who
volunteered that he earns a six-figure salary at a job on Wall Street.

Another member, Alex, the son of a preacher from Queens, said: "As a whole,
I'm not even sure I support legalization. We are about compassionate use
for the sick."

Ann Northrop, an AIDS activist, said political stereotypes did not always
apply when a person was faced with an illness. "It's all situational
ethics," she said. "If someone you care about is in the situation of
needing it, then you are likely to support them."

Some medical marijuana advocates also want to allow conditions like
multiple sclerosis and epilepsy. Kenny Toglia, the director of the New York
Medical Marijuana Patients' Cooperative, wanted to move the issue "away
from a hippy stereotype and toward a medical, clinical debate."

But the stakes are high in New York, because the state has strict drug
laws. "We are very oppressed here," Mr. Toglia said. "We are risking our
skins."

Marijuana arrests in the city have soared in number -- 39,145 in 1999
compared with 5,429 in 1990 -- yet anecdotal evidence suggests that the
police arrest medical marijuana buyers almost reluctantly.

Paula, who has AIDS and is a member of the patients' cooperative, was
arrested after a weekly meeting was interrupted by a police raid in
November. On the way to the precinct house, she said, one of the officers
apologized to her. She said, "In the car they said: 'Don't worry about it.
We're gonna do some procedure and let you go.' "

That is not the official position. Detective Walter Burnes, a spokesman for
the New York City Police Department, said: "We have a responsibility to
enforce the law as it stands. Anybody who is caught with marijuana runs the
risk of being summoned or arrested. That's our job."

Other city officials contacted about the issue were reluctant to talk about
it. A spokesman for the Manhattan district attorney's office said each case
was treated on its merits.

Even a brief brush with the law can have devastating consequences for
someone with AIDS. One AIDS patient, who did not want to be identified,
spent six days in custody after a fire in his apartment led to the
discovery of marijuana plants. While in jail, he was not given enough
methadone, which he uses to control peripheral neuropathy, a painful
condition that causes a pins-and-needles sensation in the soles of the feet
and the legs. He then had methadone-withdrawal seizures. The experience, he
said, was like "going through hell."

Many users said the pleasure they got from the high was almost as important
as marijuana's medical benefits. They said the drug's relaxing and euphoric
properties could be a godsend to the seriously ill.

Mark, a freelance designer who has AIDS and attends meetings of the New
York City Buyer's Club, another marijuana club, spoke of a friend who was
near death. "For him smoking is very helpful in dealing with the issue of
dying," Mark said. "It absolutely plays a therapeutic role."

Kevin, another member with AIDS, smokes to increase his appetite, but also
because he felt it helped him deal with depression. "It really helps with
the mental, emotional as well as the physical," he said. "It's a great
leveler. It keeps you from losing your mind."