HAIL TO THE SHROOM?

With a former president that "didn't" inhale and a current president
rumored to have sported a coke moustache in his more reckless years, I
suppose that none of us should have been surprised when you got busted
for drug possession Sunday in Burbank, Calif. After all, your Emmy
Award-winning show, "The West Wing," centers on the presidency and is
known for its well-written dramatic moral quandaries and political
dilemmas.

Rather like your present predicament, I think.

Just so you know, I watch the show most every week with my wife, who's
been a fan since the show's inception, and we have friends who tape
the ones we miss.

That was why my retinas popped when I read the headline about your
arrest when an airport luggage search turned up, according to Reuters,
a "quantity of hallucinogenic mushrooms in [your] carry-on baggage."

At first, I thought this might go a long way to explain the casting of
Martin Sheen as president. I would think that Cuban ambassador would
have been better -- and certainly closer to the actor's political
convictions -- but, then again, you're the creator.

That's when my second thought came: After going through the usual
legal rigmarole, according to reports, you posted $10,000 bond and
were released on your own recognizance a few hours later. Sweet deal.
Thing is, many people arrested on drug offenses can't post bond and
bail jail; they're stuck -- even though most have done nothing worse
than you have.

Which leads to my proposition. Why not do a "West Wing" episode on the
drug war? On legal inequalities, on overreaching police enforcement,
on asset forfeiture, on drug-courier profiling, on ... whatever. There
are more angles here than a well-cut diamond.

I went back in CNN's online archive and found a comment you made about
an early draft of your screenplay for the movie, "The American President."

"I'd really fallen in love with my own voice and went on talking for a
while," you said. "I was also enjoying being the president; I was
starting wars, ending wars [and] fixing the economy. I had opinions
about everything."

What about the drug war? Got an opinion there, Aaron, especially after
being nabbed for carrying some shriveled garden growths in your luggage?

If you miss this opportunity to fashion an entire episode or two
against drug-war lunacy, then I'll be forced to agree that the
mushrooms, in fact, have had a deleterious effect on your mind.

It's actually a perfect fit for the direction of the show. Granted,
"West Wing" is liberal-leaning; the addition of Republican Ainsley
Hayes to the lineup was a bone tossed to right-wingers like me and
commentator Ann Coulter, after whom she's patterned. But that's why
it'll work. Think civil liberties. The drug-courier profiling angle is
a sure-fire win here; minorities are the people typically wronged by
profiles.

Asset forfeiture is a good one, too. People lose their property -- no
criminal charges need be filed as forfeiture falls under civil court
jurisdiction -- and can't get it back without indebting themselves in
a legal fight against their own government (regardless, by the way, of
whether they are actually in the wrong).

No-knock raids are especially juicy with possibilities. What if a
political rival sent an anonymous tip to D.C. police that Toby was
brokering cocaine for White House personnel and running a powder shop
inside his apartment? D.C. SWAT could show up, burst in unannounced
with the excuse that the overweight staffer might be flushing baggies
down the john if they knock, and just start shooting.

Maybe an officer dings Toby in the ribs. Now, you've got high drama as
Toby sits in the operating room, while during- and after-shots deal
with what went wrong, why it happened and how this amazingly messed up
system could allow an unfounded rumor to blossom into a near-death
experience for an assistant to the president.

It's great TV, Aaron.

Don't miss your chance to influence the drug-war debate. Maybe we'll
send this idiotic policy down the pot faster than Toby can flush his
unsubstantiated illicit product.

- --Joel

PS: If you need a libertarian for story consultation and the like, I'm
available.