GETTING THROUGH

Jennifer Ledford stood at the lectern, her hands draped over a
square, beige urn.

"This is the result of using drugs," she said, choking back tears.

Inside the box were the ashes of her 22-year-old son, Joe Hicks, who
died of a fentanyl overdose just four months ago.

The room of 150 Marseilles Grade School students was silent as the
mother told her son's story of drug addiction and her family's
struggle with his death.

But for Ledford, the hardest part she continues to cope with is that
her son was trying to get clean when he died. And he had been clean
- -- for six months -- when he just had to have one more high.

A lethal dose of fentanyl gave him just that.

"I'm very angry because my kid died trying to get help," Ledford said
Wednesday. "And there's other kids out there who are alive and still using."

The presentation was for sixth-through eighth-grade students, but
also in the crowd was fourth-grade student Lauren Hicks -- Joe's
cousin. The Marseilles student was surrounded by her parents and grandparents.

"Drugs destroyed our family and ruined our lives," said Ledford, who
lives in Braidwood but also lived in the Marseilles area for about a
year. Her son attended Ottawa Township High School as a freshman, she said.

"When he was in school, he was a normal kid. He played sports --
soccer and football -- and in high school, he was Winter Ball King as
a junior," Ledford said.

Then senior year rolled around. One night at a party, some friends
offered him heroin.

"Some time in his senior year he began experimenting with pot and
drinking. Then he was introduced to heroin," Ledford said.

Joe distanced himself from family and his sober friends. He told lie after lie.

"He was a good con artist," his mother told the students.

Joe's uncle, Jim Hicks, said he could not tell by Joe's appearance
that the young man was using heroin. Joe was clean-cut and
well-spoken, Jim added.

Lauren Hicks took the news of her beloved cousin using drugs hard,
and even became angry, said Lauren's mother, Renee Vesper.

During Ledford's presentation, Lauren raised her hand several times,
eager to share memories her cousin.

She recalled one instance around Christmas 2005, when Joe came to visit.

"Every 20 minutes he was going in the bathroom," she said, standing
in front of the group of older students.

Suspicious and concerned, Lauren's father checked Joe's pants, where
Joe had hidden a tin of heroin.

Lauren also remembered the good times with Joe, including a trip to
Disney World.

Joe had been using heroin about four years before he entered a
rehabilitation center in Rockford. There, he kept journals, which his
mother later read.

"He wrote that he would never make it another 10 years (if he
continued using drugs).

"He died seven months later."

Joe was living in Rockford when he purchased what he thought was heroin.

He laid the powder out on his night stand, kneeled down, and snorted
- -- inhaling pure fentanyl, which is a prescription pain medication
prescribed in small doses for patients with extreme pain.

"He hit his face on the night stand and broke his nose," Ledford said.

But Joe never felt it.

"The coroner said he never tried to break his fall. He was dead
before he hit his head," Ledford said.

After rehab, Joe had aspirations of starting a Narcotics Anonymous
group. He lived in a halfway house in Rockford, found a job and bought a car.

"He decided he needed to spread the word E and he handed me the
baton," Ledford said.

Students had varying reactions to Ledford's story.

"(The assembly) had a lot of affect on me because a lot of people I
know do drugs like marijuana," said seventh-grade student Kelly
Fessler, adding she won't do drugs because, "I've seen them on it
before and it doesn't look fun."

Fessler complimented Ledford on having the strength to talk with students.

"That would take a lot of courage because if I ever lost one of my
sons, I probably couldn't do that."

Through the newly organized Concerned Citizens Against Drugs group in
Marseilles, area youths have formed their own anti-drug group, TNT.

'You can't avoid (drugs and alcohol), it's everywhere," said
eighth-grader Jamie Setters, who is active in TNT. "I'm going to try
to live my life and go to high school. I'm going to try to keep
myself active and away from drugs as much as possible."

Seventh-grader Anna Dekneron said Ledford's story, as well as others,
have had an impact on her choices.

"I don't want to end up dead or paranoid," she said.

Ledford noted it's not realistic to assume each student will remember
the assembly, but encouraged students to think of her son when they
find themselves in a situation where they feel pressure to take drugs.

"If I can change one person's mind, it would be worth it to me."