A CLOSER LOOK: THE BIG BUD THEORY

With apologies to Georges Lemaitre, I'd like to advance a new theory.

Lemaitre is the Belgian priest who in 1927 proposed the universe
began with the explosion of a single primeval atom. And while the Big
Bang Theory is today considered highly flawed, Lemaitre's
revolutionary idea as to the origin of our universe is still the
favoured fodder of science fiction writers and futurists the world
over.

My theory, though perhaps not as all-encompassing as to answer one of
humankind's greatest puzzles (Where did we come from?), is poised to
forever change the province's economic landscape.

The Big Bud Theory goes something like this: With the
decriminalization of marijuana seemingly just a few years away in
Canada (a local tabloid this week revealed that more than 50 per cent
of people polled are in favour of decriminalization of bud), there
will be an explosion in the number of home-based grow-ops throughout
the country. And with that Big Bang of Big Bud cultivation, the
entire socio-economic fabric of Canada will implode as more and more
of us choose to grow the stinky crop over tending our fledgling
careers of choice.

Think about it.

According to the West Vancouver police, a typical grow-op in that
municipality brings in about $300,000 a year. That's $300,000 a year.
Sure, there's the initial startup costs involved (lights, seeds,
water pumps etc.), but once you've got that in place, you're away to
the races. Would you give up the 9-to-5 grind in a
going-nowhere-in-a-hurry-job for the mundane, lucrative existence of
pot farmer?

Would you relinquish that 50 grand a year salary in which you aren't
the boss, you don't have your own parking space, and you have to chip
in a loonie a week for bad office coffee in favour of a business that
involves sitting on the couch watching plants grow?

Like with the Big Bang Theory, there will be naysayers to the Big Bud
Theory. They'll argue the government won't let you grow marijuana in
your home or garden without official approval. Afterall, there's big
tax money to be made in decriminalization, the Pot Party platform
purports, so why would the Feds let just anyone grow it and lose that
revenue stream? My understanding from the whole decriminalization
thing is that police forces are in favour of it because it will cut
down on the amount of man hours dedicated (read: wasted) in busting
grow-ops.

The fallout of so many dropping out of the workforce to cultivate pot
also means more jobs for the unemployed.

I'm a big believer in the Big Bud Theory.

So much so, in fact, that I'm currently house hunting along the West
Van waterfront. I'm looking for a modest five bedroom place with a
great view, huge deck, an indoor pool and a big, big, big basement.