ADDICTION AFFECTS EVERYONE

DURHAM -- Addiction is a word used everyday for one reason or another. It
stops by out of curiosity, stays around and gives a few thrills; meanwhile,
it takes up residency along with control of a person' s life. The word or
condition of addiction is used to describe a multitude of actions,
feelings, personality changes, ways of speaking and illnesses. I feel very
comfortable saying this is one of the most devastating conditions in this day.

There are many disadvantages to living with someone with an addiction,
especially a substance addiction. The problems stemming from this situation
run the gamut from stealing from the household, causing a major breakdown
in the family and the loss of trust that is essential to any relationship
of value.

Its amazing how creative an addict can get as the disease progresses.

The drug of choice -- be it alcohol, crack, heroin -- becomes the center of
his or her world. It is more important than the rent, food, the baby's milk
or Pampers and in many instances these things are used or sold to get the drug.

This problem does not belong to the person with the addiction alone.

Everyone connected to that person is affected: children who have lost their
parents in a mentally and emotional way, grandparents starting over trying
to raise a generation of children that they don't even understand,
communities devastated by drug use and violence, break-ins and everything
that comes with that lifestyle.

Being in the throes of addiction is like being wrapped in an extra layer of
skin that shrinks a little every time it gets wet. There are dry spells
where the addict seems in control or has taken a hiatus; usually the people
around that person begin to relax and tell themselves that maybe this is
not a problem after all. The family let its guard down because they begin
to see with their hearts.

Living with addiction within a family changes the whole fabric of the
family. Things that were taken for granted before are gone and most the
time people are unaware when they left.

Things like trust, peace, honesty and so many more of the everyday things
we were taught as children. The moral fibers that make up the foundation of
who we are and all the ingredients that our parents and community worked so
hard to instill in us are gone.

The only one to get any pleasure/satisfaction from this disease is the
addict. The people connected to the person reaps the worry, expenses of
replacing stolen items and money and the breakdown of the family and
household. And do not forget the likelihood of being put into dangerous
situations through no fault of your own.

People seem to think of addicts as a certain kind of people, people living
in public housing, unemployed or waiting on some check monthly; but I have
come to tell you addicts are often the ones who sit at the dinner table
with you, next to you in church or across the board room table.

These thoughts are very uncomfortable to some people, but this is the
reality of addiction.

The first time I heard the term "drug of your choice," I didn't associate
it with alcohol in any way. I just knew people were talking about those
drugs that one smoked out of a pipe, used a needle to shoot up or put in
their noses.

I personally found out that alcohol is just as deadly and destructive as
any of those other drugs, only most of it is legal; which makes it worse in
some ways. There is a liquor store almost in walking distance of every
black inner city neighborhood. Alcoholism is almost as prominent in the
black culture as diabetes or high blood pressure.

I wish I could say that after a certain length of time the addiction wears
off and people go back to being caring and honest and good people.
Unfortunately, some people never get better and the addiction's chain
reaction spreads from one generation to the next until someone has the
courage to break the cycle.

I hope there are some courageous cycle-breakers out there who love
themselves enough to go through whatever it takes to take their lives back.