THE EFFECTS OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE

In this first installment of a series, the names of the substance abusers
and their families have been changed to protect their privacy.

Her son, Jim, began getting high when he was 9, and more than 20 years
later he's a serious addict, Melanie said.

"He had an after-school job washing cars. I came upon him one afternoon. He
had sprayed spot cleaner on a rag and had the rag over his face. He was
"out of it.' He had learned it from a guy on the job."

Jim did everything "to the edge -- over the edge. He was the class clown.
If curfew was 10, he got in at 10:30," his mother said. She knew he was
constantly guilty of "bad behavior." She soon learned that he was
experimenting with other drugs.

"I picked up a glass to wash and smelled whiskey." He and a friend had
gotten whiskey and mixed themselves a drink; Jim was about 10 at the time.
"I wanted to get him in counseling, but I wasn't allowed to.

"That's one of the regrets I have. What if I had gotten him into
counseling? Would it have helped him?" As a teenager, Jim's troubles ranged
from fighting to drinking. He developed a severe anger management problem.
He was charged with DWI. "He was drunk for his high school graduation,"
Melanie said.

"He went into the service. To my knowledge, that's where he got to trying
various drugs -- crystal meth and others." His drug of choice these days?
"He's addicted to crack cocaine."

Jim served his stint in service and was honorably discharged. "He was in
the Army to pay his way to college." He enrolled at Henderson State
University. He informed his mother that he had a professor who said, "Pot
is not addictive and not mind-altering. It's OK to smoke pot."

His mother confronted him about using marijuana. "I'm telling him it's not
OK to smoke pot. It's illegal. It's not OK to break the law."

A few weeks after the conversation about pot smoking, "I went to visit him,
and city and county agents were arresting my son for possession with intent
to deliver marijuana -- a felony offense." The feeling she got was "it's
the sickest sick.

"He went to jail, and bonded himself out. I would not bond him out of jail.
He got five years probation and a $3,000 fine." Melanie said he benefited
by the "youthful offender" law.

Jim dropped out of school, and he became paranoid. "Everybody was out to
get him. Since then, he's been arrested for everything from no seat belts
to speeding to domestic violence."

His mother said one ticket for not using his seat belt eventually cost him
$800 in fines and court costs. The penalty is a mere $25 so long as the
fine is paid by one's court date. If it isn't paid, and if the defendant
fails to appear by his court date, a warrant is issued and the cost goes
up. After a few failures to appear, Jim owed $800 for fines and penalties.

Jim's mother has learned much more about the habits of substance abusers.
"They don't pay their bills, they go to the emergency room for everything
in the world to get drugs shot into them."

She said it's easy for her son to get prescription drugs. He goes to
different doctors in different towns and describes conditions that require
narcotic drugs. One doctor doesn't know what another doctor has prescribed
for him. "We have no statewide database," Melanie said. "He walks into a
doctor's office with pain -- usually back pain -- and gets pain medication."

Jim married, and, his mother said, "He introduced his wife to drugs." They
had a little girl. "When the baby was a week old, he called me, crying,
saying, "Mom, I'm checking myself into rehab for cocaine addiction.' He
didn't finish the program."

Jim said he already knew everything they told him in the program. He talked
himself out of it by saying he had to get a job because he had a new baby.

Melanie said, "He job hops. Can't keep his bills paid. Their taxes hadn't
been filed since 1994." She prepared and filed all their tax returns.

"The first two years of my granddaughter's life, I hardly saw her. They
were moving, doping." Melanie was determined to see that the child had a
party for her second birthday, but first she had to find them. She worked
with law enforcement agencies, visited crack houses and finally found a
crack house where her son's family had recently lived.

She was told they had moved five days before, and she drove to another town
and drove up and down streets looking for them. "We drove through gangs,
and were being yelled at and taunted." All to no avail.

"The next day someone found them living with another addict. They were to
appear in court the next day in another city on a hot-check charge and
traffic violations.

"I drove down there and prayed they'd show up for court this time. They
showed up looking like death warmed over. Jim told me later that was the
worst he'd ever been. He thought he was going to die."

Melanie was surprised when the couple allowed her to bring the baby home
with her for an overnight visit. "I didn't think they would. The are so
paranoid -- super paranoid."

She said her granddaughter's behavior depended on her parents' condition.
"Children are a mirror-image of addicted parents. When they are calm and
clean, she's content. When they're wired, she's wired."

At one point, Jim was fired from his job, and he and his daughter lived
with his mother for six months. He filed for divorce. He had been in jail
for failure to appear for court dates, and phoned his mother to ask her to
get him out.

"I told him, "I didn't put you there, and I'm not getting you out. I'm
thankful to God I know where you are.' While he was living with us, he went
to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings. He said he had a problem. He was
addicted, and he was ready to get clean.

"He was holding down a job, and taking care of his little girl. He was
doing real good, and he moved out. The night he moved out, he got drunk."

Melanie and her husband put their lives on hold for six months, trying to
help Jim "fix his life." He owed $2,500 in fines in five counties. "I set
up a payment plan for him to pay off the fines. He got all of them paid off
but one."

Jim had been an addict for 10 years before his mother learned -- or
accepted -- the fact. "I have dedicated the past three years -- my mind and
my body -- to helping him." She did everything but provide money.

"I've gotten information on rehabs in the state, talked to counselors, read
books and checked the Internet. I've been "cussed' at, shouted at, hung up
on and been used and lied to.

"Did it help him? No. I learned that I was enabling him to use drugs. The
first thing I did was give him and his family to the Lord to handle. My
typical day was to get up, sit by the phone and worry and wait on him to
call with his next emergency.

"So he could call and dump it on me to figure out or handle it so he could
create another emergency. Or wait for a call that he was at the morgue or
going to the pen.

"It's like watching your child run out in front of an 18-wheeler. You
holler for him to stop, but he just looks at you and keeps running. You
know he's going to get hit and killed.

"My son is a wonderful person that, due to his poor choices, has developed
an addiction that is destroying his life. There are times I've wondered,
"Who is this person? He's not the child I raised.'

"And the sad thing is, he's actually a different person when he's on drugs.
They've damaged him physically, mentally and spiritually.

"After hitting rock bottom depression recently, I decided I needed to go
see if I could get help and help somebody." She did not find a support
group for the families and friends of substance abusers. She tried Al-Anon,
the support group for the families of alcoholics. "It is a good group; it
just didn't meet my needs."

Melanie has been given permission to visit Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
meetings. NA is a group for addicts, but she said she gained a lot of
insight about the behavior of addicts from hearing the experiences of NA
members. "They're all the same. They've all experienced the same losses.

"I have been embarrassed, and thought I was the only person with an
addicted child. I finally decided something good can come out of this bad
experience. Sheriff Troy Tucker suggested I check into establishing a
support group."

This is the first story in a series. The second part will appear in
Wednesday's edition of the Siftings Herald.

Series Index:

Part 1: The Effects Of Substance Abuse, http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v01/n1481/a05.html

Part 2: Families Of Abusers Often Need Support, http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v01/n1481/a03.html

Part 3: Prescription Drugs Often Abused, http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v01/n1481/a04.html

Part 4: Groups Hopes To Help Families Of Substance, http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v01/n1481/a06.html