JUST SAY `NO' TO THE FAMILY GUILT TRIP

Dear Abby: I recently turned my brother "Paul" in to drug enforcement. Paul
has been a drug user for years, and it is affecting the whole family.

My husband and I have been robbed twice, totaling about $10,000. My mother
has depleted any money she has had by paying his expenses, and our family
is always in turmoil. Aunts, uncles and grandparents have all agreed on
tough love by cutting him off in every way we know how. My mother has not.
She's still supporting him, paying for housing, utilities and food.

My husband and I agreed that our son is not allowed to spend time at my
mother's house because Paul is still welcome there. She feels we are trying
to punish her and she won't speak to me.

I had discovered Paul was selling drugs to children as young as 12 to
support his habit. I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't turned him in.

My family, with the exception of my husband, son and Paul's wife, feels
that I should have handled it differently -- that what I did was excessive.
Paul's wife has thanked me because he had started to become violent with
her and their children. The rest of the family is extremely upset with me,
and some no longer talk to me.

Did I do the wrong thing?

- -- His Sister

Dear Sis: Please do not accept the guilt trip your family is trying to lay
on you. Your mother has allowed your brother to get away with his
outrageous behavior because, on some level, she feels that she's to blame.
Not only did you do the right thing, you may have saved a child's life by
getting Paul off the streets. I commend you for having the courage to put a
stop to him.