CANADA'S NEW CHEMO-WEED RULES SPARK PARANOIA

I was perusing Health Canada's new regs governing the use of medical
marijuana. They seem a trifle more complex than compassionate,
really. In fact, the new regulations seem determined to distance the
government from a massive, thriving, knowledgeable cannabis community
long overdue to explode above ground into a thriving tax bracket.

The regs create three categories of illness for which marijuana can
be prescribed. Category 1 is for applicants with a prognosis of less
than 12 months. (Would you waste one second filling out forms with a
year left?) Category 2 is for applicants who suffer from pain and
other symptoms associated with serious medical conditions like
Multiple Sclerosis, spinal cord injury, cancer, AIDS/HIV, severe
arthritis, and epilepsy. And Category 3 consists of applicants with
symptoms associated with other serious medical conditions when
conventional treatments have failed to relieve symptoms or side
effects of the treatment.

In all categories, applicants must provide a declaration from a
medical specialist to support their application. And declarations
from two medical specialists must accompany the Category 3
applications.

To say these bureaucratic conditions are stupid, costly,
time-consuming and difficult for a disabled or severely ill person,
is an understatement, especially considering the lingering ignorance
and pro-pharmaceutical bias of many doctors concerning cannabis.

Once those hoops are negotiated there's still the small matter of
scoring some boo. Health Canada stipulates approved patients can grow
their own supply-provided, of course, they have the skill, strength,
patience, seed, space, equipment and groovy landlord.

They can also designate someone to grow it for them, but only someone
who's survived a government grilling to ensure he or she doesn't
possess a criminal record and has a super secure grow spot which can
be monitored. And that designated grower, regardless of skill and
resources or knowledge of needy people around, can only grow for one
patient. Whaaaaa?

What's more, for all three categories, only a 30-day treatment supply
is allowed, which turns a blind eye to the realities of needing lots
of buds to make concentrated hash and the cosmic cookies favoured by
chemo patients. And where's the consideration for crop failure due to
spider mites, fungus gnats, power failure, ripoff and price
fluctuations? Hellooo! People are dying over here.

The third legal option is to obtain it "in the future" from the Feds'
one and only designated grower, Prairie Plant Systems. They're
pushing up the demon weed some 365 metres below the earth in an
abandoned mine in Flin Flon, Manitoba. That's psycho security, but in
typical dumb-ass fashion the Feds seem determined to produce a
mid-grade bunk more suitable for dealing in dime bags at KISS
concerts.

That's because instead of starting from clones from some chronic soul
weed, they're neglecting the very basics of genetics and growing from
unknown and untested seed stock confiscated in criminal
investigations. Besides the ethical concerns of a double ripoff of
persecuted growers and seed producers, the seed is now enriching the
lot of a government subsidized private business.

According to Hilary Black, on the Compassion Club website: "Growing
plants without knowledge of their genetic makeup, quality or
cannabinoids profile is like reaching into a medicine cabinet
blindfolded. There are highly reputable Canadian seed companies, such
as Legends Seeds, that could provide quality, stabilized seed strains
that they have been producing legally in Switzerland."

Black and other compassion clubs have more reason to be steamed.
Besides providing much information already and proving they have the
moral and medical smarts to provide organic marijuana to patients
with a minimum of hassle, Health Canada regulations refuse to
sanction compassion and buyers clubs. Never mind that, the clubs also
supply information on complementary treatments like reiki or t'ai chi
and improved diet and peer support.

No wonder Alan Rock looked so stoked in his hard hat surrounded by
the Prairie Plant Systems crop. But I think his grin comes from
owning the rules of the game. Some pharmaceutical suits have no doubt
pledged campaign support, and would be pleased as punch if the whole
experiment fell flat on its face so they can be tossed the football.

If these rules are not relaxed many medicinal pot smokers will simply
bypass the whole process and continue to risk their health trading in
the black market. That would be a shame because there are some chinks
in the armour of these regs that sheer weight of numbers can crack
open.