DRUG TALK HITS CLOSE TO HOME

It's one thing to tell parents they need to keep closer tabs on their kids.
It's quite another to present that message to parents and teens at the same
time and in a way that makes sense to both generations.

Motivational speaker Milton Creagh of Atlanta succeeded at that Monday
night in a Salisbury appearance sponsored by Allies for Substance Abuse
Prevention. He talked very little about alcohol and drugs. Instead, he
focussed on the importance of being a vigilant, caring and sometimes
unpopular parent.

Teens who have bucked their parents' authority got a good dose of preaching
on why parental controls are necessary. Parents who consider themselves
experts got an earful on the things they may still do wrong.

In other words, just about everyone squirmed in his or her seat at least
once as Creagh's message struck close to home - uncomfortably close at times.

Teens raised hands to admit that they had creatively stretched the truth
with their parents -lied -and even admitted to bouncing the lie off a
friend for practice.

They also raised hands - many hands - when asked if they knew of a house
where they could go to drink or do drugs without adult supervision or
interference.

Parents did not get off scot-free. They had to consider if they were among
the three types of parents whose homes are often used by kids to drink or
do drugs. One was the empty home, where Mom and Dad have great intentions,
but they both work. (The top time of day for kids to drink or have sex,
Creagh said, was 3 to 6 p.m.) The second was the home where one parent was
vigilant but the other was clueless and always defended the teen. The third
was the home where parents thought they were cool and allowed teens to get
away with stuff they could not do in their own homes.

And then there was the message Creagh started the evening with. After
speaking to teens earlier in the day, he said, several came to him to say
they wished their parents would stop abusing drugs. Seventy percent of
illegal-drug users in America are in the workforce every day, he said. The
spotlight of blame that many parents expected to shine on the younger
generation Tuesday night clearly aimed also at them.

What difference will Creagh's speech make?It's hard to say. He and the
Allies for Substance Abuse Prevention are fighting against powerful
societal forces. Families tend to isolate themselves from each other, and
adults no longer help each other out by snitching on other people's kids.
Growing affluence has led to more perks for teens, and fewer chores.
Children no longer seem to worry about proving themselves in the areas of
responsibility, accountability, dependability and maturity. They just need
to prove they can pass the driver's test and - voila - at 16 they will have
a car.

Creagh said he was appalled that the cars in the students' parking lot at
Salisbury High -cars driven by what he called "your snot-nosed children"
- -were nicer than those in the teachers' parking lot.

He was blunt and persuasive. And if he convinced just one or two parents to
take more time - to check out their kids' friends, assign some chores,
resist the constant push to go along, go along, go along - Creagh might
have accomplished something.

If he also helped their teens understand why these things are important, he
will have achieved the seemingly impossible.