PLEASE DON'T INHALE: A CHAOTIC, UNFUNNY MUSICAL SPOOF OF 'REEFER MADNESS'
HITS STAGE

NEW YORK -- Please, please, don't inhale. "Reefer Madness" could be
hazardous to your mental health, not to mention your sense of humor and
faith in the American musical theater.

This dumb, chaotic little spoof, which opened Sunday at off-Broadway's
Variety Arts Theatre, is so strenuously unfunny that, instead of producing
a theatrical high, has the opposite effect -- deep-dish depression.

"Reefer Madness," a sizable hit at a small Los Angeles theater in 1999, is
based on the 1930s film about the perils of smoking marijuana. In the
musical, we focus on Jimmy, a clean-cut high school student, who, after a
few puffs of weed, goes from "good egg to bad apple."

The movie, told in super-solemn tones, is an easy target, which the stage
show mocks with a sledgehammer. "Reefer Madness" begins with a severe,
no-nonsense lecturer played by Gregg Edelman urging the audience to "take
up arms against a leafy green assassin."

The problem is that once you're in on the joke -- and that happens within
five minutes of the start of the musical -- the show has nowhere to go. Not
that it keeps authors Kevin Murphy and Dan Studney from trying for nearly
two hours.

Jimmy's descent into debauchery is aided by a dope dealer named Jack, who
regularly decks his girlfriend, Mae, a down-on-her-luck gal totally hooked
on "The Stuff." During his unraveling, Jimmy dumps his simpering
sweetheart, Mary, and ends up accidentally killing an old man.

Even though the show is set in 1936, the score time travels across various
decades. The music by Studney often recalls the least memorable numbers
from "Grease," while Murphy's lyrics are relentlessly repetitive.

What is particularly depressing about "Reefer Madness" is that it has
trapped some experienced musical theater performers, people who are vastly
overqualified for the show. Besides Edelman, they include Robert Torti as
the sinister dealer and Michele Pawk as his hapless and abused helpmate.

These pros are troupers but, at times, they appear vaguely embarrassed by
the contortions director Andy Fickman has put them through.

Christian Campbell, a member of the original Los Angeles company, certainly
looks All-American as the doomed Jimmy -- he even has dimples. At least
Campbell doesn't mug too strenuously, an affliction that seems to have
infected most of the large supporting cast.

Paula Abdul has provided the gyrations masquerading as choreography, and
the dancers carry off her steps with a lot of spirit if not much style. One
low point: a number in which the dancers strip down to body stockings
decorated with marijuana leaves covering their private parts. Another bad
taste moment: Torti playing a kind of glitter Jesus Christ, complete with a
sparkling crown of thorns.

Don't ask how all this fits together. It doesn't really. "Reefer Madness,"
the musical, makes you appreciate the merits of the slogan "Just Say No."