A Stranger In The House, Part 4b

HOUSE OF LIFE -- A PLACE TO LIVE AGAIN

'People Become Sober Without Losing Everything They Had'

For an addict, "there's no such thing as being too high," said a
14-year-old client at House of Life drug recovery center in Arcadia.

"I'm addicted to marijuana and prescription pills," said Fred, who asked
that his real name not be used. "I swallowed the pills like candy."

Drug Recovery Inc. House of Life is an adolescent chemical dependency
treatment facility with programs ranging from 30 days to six months. It is
the only in-house treatment facility in close proximity to Edmond.

Fred recalls feeling sleepy when he was 12 years old, so a friend gave him
amphetamines to wake him up. The cycle of abuse began.

"When I'd come off of them, I'd lay in my bed and feel like crap for a
couple of days," Fred said.

The first time he used methadone, a heroin-based drug, he vomited and
experienced dry heaves for 13 hours. At the time, his parents were not at
his Tulsa home.

"That's when I still had trust. My mom would leave me alone. She didn't
know," Fred said. But she began to have suspicions and required her son to
have a drug test, which came back positive.

He was ordered by the court to receive therapy at the treatment center in
exchange for serving time in a lock-down juvenile detention facility.

Clients Held Accountable For Behavior

"If you talk about help from an addict's point of view, you're going to get
two different perspectives," said Andy Waner, House of Life program director.

Generally, the non-enabling, tough-love stance parents take in helping
their child to become sober is not perceived by the child as help. During
an intervention, family members and friends should offer support only in
the area of recovery, Waner said.

Recovery is an ongoing process, he added, referring to his own seven years
of sobriety from alcohol.

"I've been able to see it first hand from my point of view and experience
what it took. And I would hate to have the attitude that, 'I'm recovered
and that's it, or that there is a cure,'" he said. "A lot of parents have
the idea, 'Well, here's my kid. Fix it.' It's not like that."

During Fred's 70-day stay at House of Life, he has learned how pills
clouded his decision-making process.

"I feel like a totally different person because I'm clean -- away from
drugs and safe from them," he said. "I had no structure in my life and I
needed it."

Treatment is set up in five phases and follows the guidelines of a 12-step
program such as Alcoholics Anonymous. Each phase of individualized
treatment ranges from 30 days to 45 days. And depending on the individual,
a person does not have to hit "rock bottom" before they can be helped,
Waner said.

Every day, people become sober without losing everything they have had, he
added.

"The concept of the therapeutic community is responsibility to self first
and then to others," he said. Clients are held accountable for all their
actions and behavior.

The therapy includes strict rules.

Drugs, alcohol and violence are not allowed on campus. Threatening
statements are grounds for discharge. Card games and bartering are
considered "illegal" activity and sexual relations are prohibited.

"The concept is that the smallest female can confront the largest male --
be it another client or staff member -- without any fear of retaliation,"
he said. "They're able to voice their opinions in a healthy manner."

The 27-bed center contracts with the Department of Mental Health and
Substance Abuse Services. It is not a lock-down facility. When a child goes
AWOL, the law requires the parent and Arcadia Police Department to be notified.

"I've had some kids come into the program who have some real behavioral
problems," he said. "And they go back home regardless of whether they
complete all phases of the program. And their mom calls back and says, 'You
know what? (She) didn't complete, but there's a change.'"

Respectful Of Authority

Activities within the facility are highly regimented with every minute of
daily activity accounted for, including recreational activities, Waner said.

Teen-agers are provided opportunities to improve their academic life. And
every student who receives treatment leaves the program with a better
grade-point average, he said. Teachers are provided by Oklahoma City Public
Schools.

Fred's learning environment differs sharply from when he attended school in
Tulsa.

"I used to sell weed during class. If it was one of my friends, I'd sell it
cheap. But if it was somebody I didn't like, I'd rip them off. It's all
about profit," he said. He recalls placing four "joints" in his eyeglass
holder, sliding it across the floor, then waiting for his money to be
pushed back.

Today, he doesn't want to return to his old habits, he said.

And he is not alone.

Eddy would have been a senior this semester at John Marshall High School in
Oklahoma City. But his choice to use methamphetamines caused him eventually
to drop out of school during the ninth grade.

Today, he has almost completed his GED. And his memory has improved, he said.

As an 11-year-old, he stole a bottle of liquor from his father and smoked
marijuana -- all this to relieve depression, he said. His vices also
included LSD and ecstasy.

Ecstasy is a very addictive combination of hallucinogens and
methamphetamines, according to the state health department, It is known as
"the sex drug," and is commonly found at nightclubs. The drug is
increasingly appearing at home parties and in public schools.

"I used to look in the mirror and I'd be all skinny -- looking really bad.
And now I don't feel that way," Eddy said. He's learning to be respectful

of authority and has a more harmonious relationship with his mother. But he
fears relapse will be triggered by his old environment unless he moves away
from Oklahoma City when he is released.

Day And Night Change

Few people would become sober if treatment facilities such as House of Life
were not around, Waner said, because confrontation at the facility is more
intense than at AA. Society cannot expect an addict, already in denial of
his or her problem, to simply attend Alcoholics Anonymous or another
12-step program, he added.

Teen-agers take a long time to identify their drug usage as a problem.

"They'll come in and say, 'I use drugs and alcohol, but my problem is my
parents. They're on my back all the time.'" he said. "Some people just
don't get it at any level, and that's the sad part."

And parents face additional challenges in getting their children sober
because it's very difficult to get services in the state -- especially on a
residential level," he said.

"I've got a waiting list right now that goes upward of anywhere from two to
four months. I've got 60-plus people waiting for treatment," Waner said.
While they wait, teen-agers' behavior can degenerate.

"Generally, the kids here for the first couple of months have made a
day-and-night change," Waner said. "Why is that? Confrontation, the
therapeutic community and peers being supportive."

Most teen-agers' parents volunteer them for treatment but some are ordered
there by probation officers. Those who enter treatment under legal pressure
respond as favorable as those who enter treatment voluntarily, according to
the health department.

Many arrive with severe attitude problems. Those walking "hip-hop" down a
hallway quickly learn their action is prohibited by other teens as well as
the staff.

"If you fake your way through it -- you're not going to try," said Justin,
17, who asked his real name not be used. "In here, you have to try. You
have to give your best effort because they will discharge you. There's no
room for psychos."

It is vital for adolescents to detoxify their system before being treated
at the facility, Waner said. In the zero-drug tolerance environment, they
will become sick when detoxifying from a chemical.

Before arriving at the House of Life, Justin had already withdrawn from
methamphetamines and cocaine while at a Tulsa psychiatric clinic.

The former Tulsa Union High School student said he had sold meth to support
his addictions. Justin knew nothing about the physical and emotional
implications of the drugs before he used them.

"I was feeling really down all the time and it seemed to make me feel
better about myself. It made my life better. It made things easier. I
didn't feel normal when I wasn't on it, so I got addicted to it," he said.
"I lost a lot of trust. I lost a lot of respect from my friends. I lost a
lot of true friends when I started hanging out with drug dealers."

Relating to other teen-agers at House of Life with similar addictions makes
all the difference in recovery, he said.

"If I hadn't been put in here, I probably would be dead or in jail right now."