Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.

Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.

Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn-X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips!

Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

wow....One Unity got pissed.....they never dissed the place though.....then again, Montrealers don't really wath their words.....take "cherryonionkiss" for [ example.....ca ] to the toilet, ok but $4.25 for a Blue, that's BS!

That's 'cause I don't remember you.....stop bragging...:b

omg, how could I have been so naive.....The X-File boxes of course! that's the one box they would never expect us to check. It's bound to contain some kind of spying device.....Jackie, you're so smart!

reading these will make you feel smarter ...

> Number One Stupid Person of 2003
"I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter in to the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she had better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. "

> Number Two Stupid Person of 2003
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

> Number Three Stupid Person of 2003
And from San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "thems iz a stikkup. Puts all youse muny in this bog." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

> Number Four Stupid Person of 2003
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received, in the mail, a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

> Number Five Stupid Person of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

> Stupid Person Number Six of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

> Stupid Person Number Seven of 2003
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

> Stupid Person Number Eight of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

so is there gonna be like an "official" singles' night or what?....I can't read this whole 6 pages thread :(

Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu.

Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

I already wrote that one :(....but it is hard to keep up with all these jokes....I might've repeated a few myself....don't let me discourage you though :)

'cause you a playah....or I should say, used to be one....good dady :)

Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma so fat her belly button's got an echo.

what?......I'm only saying, hypotheticaly....I don't actually think it'd be watching me....plus I don't even grow any facial hair so I'm not at risk.

yeah good point.....I wouldn't take a job in Ottawa.....then again, that aint no city hehehehe :b

I get invitations too.....I thought I was cool for turning them down, no?8)

Poisoned Candy talk in a conditional fashion....IF I ever this....IF I ever that.....u a junkie already man....what kinda of sober person would like that?!......anyways, u win.....my tracks suck balls....

Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

yeah but IF it was to look at you.....wouldn't it have to be facing you?....how's it gonna look at you from the trash can?

yeah but that's not an issue since we're not gonna miss you..........I kid, I kid :b

Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

it's chica.....chico....yeah I'm anal....

anyways, wtf is friendster all about? I heard it was like that [ classmates.com ] thing but about old friends u lost touch with....

hold up....so it's in the box?....who keeps it anyways?

Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views.

Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of the Moose's nose.