understatement of the year!

(512): dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.


(513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

(540): please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.

(305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
(615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

moi je pensais plus dans le style cocktail molotov...

made: running
ruined: trop calissement humide pour courrir.

it's freddy...

made: vendredi, samedi et dimanche, juste YEAH, glissade d'eau dimanche c'étais vraiment cool, même si le 3/4 du monde on chocker, ya pas eu de pluie, y'avait pas un chat, on a même droit a du soleil, ils ont une piscine spa trop malade!

yeah you said it.

made: hier c'étais le fun même si ma blonde était pas la.
made: Milz à soir
made: Tamala!

IDEM!

(773): I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind

(864): sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him


(714): Ikea night.
(949): ?
(714): Insert tab A into swedish slot B


(512): Did yall have sex?
(214): Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
(512): Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen



(917): Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
(914): That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian

(847): And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
(1-847): I should injure you considerably.

(401): I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.

it sure does, thats what I use :D

(440): why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
(1-440): you have got to be kidding?

(317): ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

(440): he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.


(860): i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

(303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

(407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

(301): she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
(203): but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

(706): Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
(706): And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her

(248): Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.

(440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
(330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

(707): Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.

(201): Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.

Vous êtes à un carrefour et vous souhaitez continuer tout droit. Un automobiliste veut tourner à droite : il ne vous laisse pas la priorité, tourne et vous frappe. Vous aviez priorité sur l’automobiliste parce vous continuiez tout droit et pas lui. Lorsque vous croisez un carrefour, assurez-vous que l’automobiliste qui est derrière vous vous a vu. Lorsque vous arrêtez à une intersection, faites votre arrêt (s’il y a lieu) à droite de l’auto et légèrement devant, sans empiéter sur le passage piéton. Ainsi, lorsque le feu passera au vert, l’automobiliste ne pourra pas vous manquer et il tournera derrière vous. La question du virage à droite sur feu rouge pour les automobilistes est venue compliquer la vie des cyclistes. S’il est interdit sur l’île de Montréal, il est permis ailleurs au Québec, ce qui demande une vigilance accrue.


source: [ www.velo.qc.ca ]

But you are right that car and bikes are the same, but when you don't turn and cars turn you have priority.

I like my whiskey like I like my girl, 12 years of age mixed with cocaine!

CALISSE

je lisais

bonne fête revenant Patrice

pas révérant :S




bonne fête jeune homme: content de t'avoir vu toi et Martin hier pendant un gros 45 secondes parce que j'avais oublier mon sac au resto pis que j'étais en retard au football!

bike does still have priority on car!

fiou!

kinda sad for your bf ;)

ou tu miens des fois!



(609): i'm saving my butt for my wedding night

(310): Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

(312): Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.

(312): Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.

je tombe pas quand je suis soul, mais je risque de m'endormir vite...

(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

(914): she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.

(540): This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

(514): I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later. (this one is fake for sure)

45 minutes

idem

beau temps mauvais temps, c'est toujours le temps pour boire...

(952): Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
(612): I wish i was spraying into your jaw.

(858): Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.

(214): The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.

well I know that much but not where exactly.

made: your day are ruined :D

j/k


made: football à soir

I don't even know where So lives anymore!

hey don't laugh I live there!

they deliver the crack to my house 2!

or everyone rates it up! 3 peeps should do the trick!

what you pay for crack???

ahahaha genre!

mais a 3 contre un online les 3 on plus de chance!!!

a cause des power up!