I'm going to practice my farting technique!

ѺᗥϡϟᐝЉ

Har har har.

Ok done groaning. The important thing after that is a homemade piercing, prince albert style. Then you stick your dick through a hole in a long board you can lie down on, suspended on bricks. Then you put a chain in your Prince Albert and hang a 10 lb weight from that chain. Sleep like this for a week and you will have a long and torn up penis.

From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

Earth
------------

Mostly Harmless.

Put the words "PLEASE FORWARD" in the header.

Truthfully, I'd be relieved if you just did Captain Obvious again, that picture always makes me get my slapping hand ready. You just look like, you know, cranky in the pic.

Then the lemons.

Oh god, every time I've seen that ad I've wanted to scream.

Shits tapes! Wow.

At least it aint this new emo shit that Lady Wayne I mean Lil Wack just put out:

Listen dawg, you better put your dad in mcgill so he can teach while he's teaching.

Guns don't kill people. I do.

Dude should definitely also go back on G.I.Joe's side because I'm not down with him hanging out with Destro.

June 12. Need a venue.

POOFTAHS? STOMP EM!

Oh woops I thought that said Koopas.

Is that some Your-ass-ic Pork?

You don't need pictures. Serra and St. Pierre fought at UFC 69. What do you think they mean by that huh?

Anyways, here's right before the end of the match. Notice that the fighters are in position.

Oh this is not the aforementioned fight BTW, just so I don't mislead.

For once in your life you're right. At the end of a long fist fight, sometimes even the guys in the UFC just 69 like crazy and then they don't feel so bad.

Interestingly enough, the mostly crap sequels to Puppet Master and Hellraiser go back and forth from shit to exceptional. Something that has made those franchises quite frustrating. Great makeup though.

Moloch: your post is the most relevant so far, but also the scariest. I'd like to see how that thing responds to a shotgun, because I'd be reloading and refiring like mad if I saw that one.

His brother eats a lot of spinach man, watch your back.

Ok, but... neither does ignoring it.

Do you remember that third one? Or the short-lived TV show? It's too bad Verhoeven only did the first one.

Take a few stimpacks everyone and walk it off.

An Australian Spiderman would have either done what the German Spiderman did and said it was Germany's idea or locked the kid in the basement after saving him and then forced him to make babies and dinner for 25 years.

You know, Australia, that country just north of Italy.

I find generally if you know how to argue validly and with a minimum of aggression you can also win against the cops. Example: I was hanging out in Carré St. Louis with a few friends and typically, we were drinking. We had one exposed bottle. It was virtually empty. My friend was drunk, but so was the whole damn park, pretty obviously. I mean, it's Carré St. Louis! This first year rookie comes up to us and tells my friend he's in all this trouble, calls him a "esti de maudit tourist" and tells him to pour out the beer. My friend panicked a bit and couldn't deal with the yelling, and got up really slowly, obviously scared, while the cop started insulting and threatening him.

Finally I jumped in and said to the cop "hé la, aucun de nous autres sont des touristes monsieur, et ce n'est pas dans votre procedure d'agir de même. Je sais que vous avez un quota mais voyons, la bouteille est vide, ce gars est né ici, et il parle Français et te comprends très bien. Tu le fait peur. Voyons. S'il y a vraiment aucun chose que tu peut écrire sur ton papier sauf que t'as rien trouvé sauf notre bouteille vide, vas-y, embarquez. Mais si non, sois professionel ou je télephone tes superieurs qui vont mieux te dire comment te comporter."

And you know what? He muttered something under his breath, the lady cop with him nodded and shrugged, and they left in a huff. We kept drinking.

Not saying everyone should attempt this, but if you can keep your cool and you know what you're talking about they will fear the possibility of legal repercussions. This sometimes even works in cases where you're totally in the wrong (we were breaking the law, but it was really not worth the paperwork), but you really have to know your rights.

"Number one, you have the right to free speech. But that doesn't actually mean you should be dumb enough to try to use it." - The Clash

Russian Spiderman however would have fired artillery from the Potemkin, killing all the onlookers and especially the grieving mother, then erased all mention of the incident from the records, replacing it with the burning of a Tsarist monument and saying that this was the day the tides turned. The kid? Exiled to Siberia.

Listen, I witnessed that fucking shit parade first hand. A bunch of fucking goofball street kids and a few Lavalois douchebag teenagers were at the front of the mob, and they set up a bunch of barricades, vandalizing the scaffolding above the mall across from Place Des Arts (Dupuis something, couldn't care less because I hate malls anyway) in order to make a stand that lasted maybe 2 minutes. They took bricks from that scaffolding and a bunch of other would-be weapons and started throwing them at the cops. The most I saw the cops do was pitch over a dumpster, and I have no idea why. But the row at Place Des Arts was most definitely started by a bunch of idiot punks and kids with no real reason to be there except to work off some aggression. They made the entire case null and void. They ran up the stairs of the Place Des Arts complex, endangering innocent onlookers while continuing to pitch bricks from the promenades. I had been sitting on the steps smoking a joint. I didn't want to have my day ruined by some babies who have no idea how to properly demonstrate, and I think the cops should have picked a few of them off to save the human race from inevitable genetic devolution.

I can't believe you would put these shitty amateur videos in there as if to say the cops started that one. That was just plain stupidity. Nobody in their right mind would think the protesters had any legal right to do that. And I am most certainly not a fan of cops, either. But some people really put the good people at risk with their chaotic ideas on protest and anarchy. Get off the mesk esti.

If it was a German Spiderman he'd have blamed the burning of the building on his political enemies and then said that the child actually never existed.

Yo Dawg, I'm sorry I put so many things in your stuff. You couldn't even do anything while trying to do anything while trying to do anything.

(he looks regretful)

I don't believe in fairies because they don't believe in me.

^^^ Because he doesn't have to make sense to get through life.

Why does the guy feel the need to wear that silly, geeky period outfit in order to play it? It seems like an awesome instrument, and I can see a million uses for that in postmodern composition, and this dandy fop is playing fucking Nutcracker crap with it? Who does he think he is? Ben Franklin reincarnated?

Where's the beef? In MY PANTS!

If it had been Italian Spiderman, he would have just kicked the shit out of the fire while having a smoke, then thrown the kid out the window.

Apparently when he was half way up the building he called down in broken English "HOW DO I SHOT WEB?"

Fucking gold.

Hard to recognize without the bad whistling and shitty Quebecois guitarist who didn't get the joke, eh?

Robocop 1/2? Cool! Is that like, Robocop before the first episode, kind of like the muppet babies of Robocop.

"Can you fly baby?"

Well... it turns out this isn't a polished up video of Jizz in My Pants but a shitty Terminator 4 trailer.

Where's the Gropernator?

Hey the other day I got some fried chicken and watermelon, and some chinese guy was following me around.

I thought maybe some sort of stereotype would happen but no, it turns out I forgot to pay for the watermelon.

As for the bucket of chicken, it got stolen by a walrus. It seems I had a day full of mixed memes.

But I still fucking hate wops.