cuz you seem so sweet

was some rave in edmonton in the old strathcona bus barns in '95.
i hated the music, was freaked out by the people making out and more in the chill room, was given a plastic smiley face ring by some guy in a dinosaur suit, had a moment of hysterical laughter with my best friend over labello lip balm.
i have no idea what kind of music it was or it's name. but i had a great time and the memories are still really vivid 8 years later.

it was hot.....but it's always hot.
ran into a few attitude problems but hey, you can't like everybody.
dance floor was small, but i had a blast anyways.

i didn't mind it at all (aside from the nasty strobe light on the stairwell)

there's always good and bad to every location ya know. the music was great and i ran into way more cool people than losers.

and it didn't get busted

i had a blast, loved the location and i actually do like dancing on slippery floors....seriously.
and the music made me happy as always

happy bday Galaksy! your set got me movin and everybody else kept me goin. Krusada was awesome and the Nitrous is always wicked

i'm running out of adjectives here.

got to hear some of Kataleptics set in the chill room, i like your stuff

so, yeah, i got no negatives........made me happy

the next IDJ never comes fast enough.....

happy birthday!
i hope that you have an excellent year

sexy=carrie-ann moss in the matrix

lisa is cool

i'm gonna be the crazy old lady with a gazillion cats that terrorizes children as they walk by my front porch.

hehehehehehhehe cackle cackle cackle

oh yeah......and i'm liking this life shit, i've decided that my remaining brain cells are precious to me.

i think that's one of my favorite NIN songs

when random very cool experiences just fall into my life from out of the blue

thanks kataleptic and lucky star
yeah i wrote it

no problem
it's a modified version of the stuff i teach everyday, i could talk about it for hours.
but i'd bore everybody to tears

the blade above my heart
cuts through
and I weep
to find you here in my dark hearts keep

all love is lost
in the echoes of time
the cackle of the shrew
rings through my mind

I find myself here
in the home of the ghosts
in this dying ground
of the haunted, the forgotten, the lost.

I meet no maker
I see no light
all hope is tarnished
by my dark keepers delights

so ya.....the breathing thing, takes a bit of practise i suppose but it's really just a way to trick your brain into concentrating on one thing in order to take your mind off of the things that are racing around and around in your brain.

1. breathe in through your nose and feel the expansion of your lower ribs
2. exhale through your mouth (like you're making fog on a window)
3. as you exhale relax your shoulders
4. let your sternum drop (try to imagine that someone is pushing on your chest)
5. then at the end of your exhale try to let go of any tension that your holding in your body.
(you know.....unclench your jaw, your fists, drop your shoulders away from your ears and relax your forehead.)

seems complicated i know but once you get the hang of it it helps.

hope that you can get a good nights sleep soon :)

^^i love those

5 YEARS
you think you're denying me of something
well, i've got plenty
you're the one who's missing out
but you won't notice
'til after five years
if you'll live that long
you'll wake up
all love-less

i dare you
to take me on
i dare you
to show me your palms
i'm so bored of cowards
who say what they want
then they can't handle

you can't handle love
baby, it's obvious

i dare you
to take me on
i dare you
to show me your palms
what's so scary?
not a threat in sight
you just can't handle
you can't handle love

concentrate on your breathing
sounds lame i know, but it's the only thing that works for me

my bestfriend
he's always there for me when i'm acting psychotic.
he laughs at me, which is good cuz i like to make people laugh.
he gets what i write. he doesn't just read it and go, "oh yeah, that was good"
he's fucking brutally honest even when it pisses me off.
he'll discuss stupid things like why ballet is more dangerous than football with me
and he forgive's me my evil dark and despicable side.
funny, smart, understanding, waaaaaaay cool and easy on the eyes

*sings to the sound of music tune* "and these are a few of my favorite things".........

people who try to make you feel guilty

listening to music from the past.
you know, when you associate music to a certain time in your life.
then, when you hear it again later, even if you still like it it brings back all the memories, good and bad ones.
it makes me sad because it's so bittersweet.

linkin park- by myself

eep!

people that are so tired that they're giddy-stupid-funny make me happy

dust bunnies
nothing fans the flames of my rage like dust bunnies

i'll be there for sure

k, this one's pretty lame but whatevah.......


A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her
girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle aged
man entered.

He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The
young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly
toward her. (As all men will)

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over
and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want
me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00 ... on one condition." (There are
always conditions)

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.

The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three
words." (Controlling, huh?)

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20
bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her
address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully said
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

..."Clean my house."

made: the absolutely coolest work opportunity EVER!
ruined: i might have to work on my weekend
but i actually want to
hehehehehehehehehe
i'm bouncing off the walls right now

mmmmmmmmmmm
seaweed
mmmmmmmmmm
tofu
mmmmmmmmm
alfalfa sprouts
mmmmmmmmmm
air
oh my.......gotta go,looks like my cells are due to die any minute now

be artsy, kinda vague, use big words and most importantly sound like you know what you're talking about by just mostly repeating common themes that the teacher used in class.
they really only want to hear what they've said before repeated back to them, makes 'em feel important.

it's been 9 years, i just don't like the thought of biting into a hunk of flesh.
i get my protein by nibbling on peoples ears

the memories of some of the things i've done.

listening is my drug
i'm in need of a fix
10 more days......

thanks

the punk remix of the song
"you are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know dear how much i love you, please don't take my sunshine away."
fuck, even typing that makes me cry

so when would this decoration thang be hapnin?

good topic.

there was a time when i felt nothing. no attachments, no pain, no love, no desire, nothing at all really.

i don't think that i was enlightned, i was just numb, depressed and dead inside.

i understand though what is meant though when detachment becomes enlightenment.
but i also think that in that detachment from the human condition there must also be an understanding and an empathy towards it.

because even if we are nothing but a chain of chemical impulses and hormonal reactions we still are.

and if detachment becomes just another form of snobbery, if the detached consider themselves superior just in the fact that they do not give in or do not feel basic "human" emotions or physical discomforts, then it's not really enlightenment is it?

i don't know. i'm only a chain of chemical reactions that is aware, and that can love and hate the container that holds those chemicals.

a robot cannot love or hate itself.

i have no idea if this makes any sense.

ya know.....
some day i hope i can be really cool and really funny

small wailing children
small yappy dogs
small vapid minds
small talk from small vapid minds
small pebbles
small puddles, if you're going to be a puddle, at least be large enough that when i jump in you, enough of a splash is created to spray small little droplets of water into the air that i can also include in my list of things that piss me off today.

to tibet

excitement

it's too small