i need to dance soon
i'm going psycho....

hopefully i'll be at both
overtime hours + no free time = money tree

excellent.....i think i'm gonna go get tickets this week sometime in my non-existent free time
cuz i'm retarded, where's the ticket buying place in this city? and can you get tickets for bjork at the same ticket place?

The resume below was sent to me by a friend, who commented,
"There's humor in it, but everything I've read indicates that the contents
are true--which is one of the most frightening things about G.W. Bush."

i dunno if it's been posted here before, but, whatever, just don't read it again if it has.


GEORGE W. BUSH The White House, USA

RESUME

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

- I ran for congress and lost.
- I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
- I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went
bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
- I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took
land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago
White Sox.
- With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

- I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the
most polluted state in the Union.
-I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in
America.
- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in
borrowed money.
- Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
- I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes,
with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

- I attacked and took over two countries.
- I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
- I shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-
month period.
- I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
- I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
- I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal
record.
- I am the first year in office set the all-time record for most days on
vacation by any president in US history. After taking the entire month of
August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US
history.
- I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other
president in US history.
- In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
- I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
president in US history.
- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
- I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any
president in US history.
- I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any
president since the advent of television.
- I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any
president in US history.
- I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.
- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to
use the national reserves as past presidents have.
- I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
- I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take
to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind
[ www.hyper-real.org ]
- I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
- I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US
history. Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
history.
(The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
named after her).
- I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
simultaneously go bankrupt.
- I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in
any country in the history of the world.
- I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military
occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the
United Nations and the world community.
- I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of
the United States.
- I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases,
more than any president in US history.
- I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove
the US from the human rights commission.
- I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove
the US from the elections monitoring board.
- I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
- I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
- I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
- I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default
no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
- I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
- I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign
donations. My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my
best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds
in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
- I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
history.
- I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack
(and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).
- I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
- I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than
a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the
biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
- I, with a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile
Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
- I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of
Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
stability.
- I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea
more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
- I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government
contracts.
- I set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated
US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for
government contracts.
- I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
- I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of
our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no
leads and zero suspects.
- In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented
any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of
the United States.
- I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other
president in US history.
- In a little over two years I created the most divided country in decades,
possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
- I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than
two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

- I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
record has been erased and is not available).
- I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of
war.
- I refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
- All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to
my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board
are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding
public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
review.

PERSONAL REFERENCES:

For personal references, please speak to my dad or uncle James Baker (They
can be reached in their offices at the Carlyle Group where they are helping
to divide up the spoils of the US-Iraq war and plan for the next one.)

made: chillin on a roof overlooking the city
made: momentary peace of mind
made: finally getting to try something that i've wanted to do for years
ruined: friends that are falling apart and i'm too far away to help
ruined: missing someone, not being able to be in multiple places at once, not being able to be everything for everyone

i'm danielle
i love music, jungle is my first love but play me something funky with base and i'll probably dig it
i'm from many places
and no one really knows me

the private press

yeah, things have to be centered
straight folds
hung up symetrically
and i always have to put on my right shoe first

watching a friend on the verge of destruction makes me sad too

expansion union-world wide funk

it sucks that it got cancelled, just when i convinced all my friends to go.

gonna go home for a week to visit my family, plane comes back into montreal the afternoon of the 15th.
do you know what time the concert is going to be at?

ruined: i'm such a klutz
made: the feeling of blood running through my hair
ruined: feelin woozy......

^^^^^^now there's some good clean fun...

nightmares on wax is awesome....i think i'm gonna go put that on

it would be just my luck that my plane gets delayed and i miss radiohead

yo, ^^^^^^exactly
ganjalovely

mmmmmm brainfreeze is so yummy

proms and bidets.....yes, i see the correllation....

proms suck
it's all about the afterparty

roadtrip!!!!

i think that i should quit my job just so that i don't keep missing out on nights like these.....
dammit i wanted to go

soyfunk's post up there......so true, so well put
galaksy: try not to think of it as what you're missing but what you'll be gaining, pills are momentary escapes from life when life itself can be your high, and music is like the ultimate drug anyways.
congratulations by the way......hope that valerie's well

requiem for a dream

the split screen part, don't feel like describing it, if you've seen it, you'll know what i mean

an amazing track someone sent me.........
i love requiem for a dream

made: music
made: sunshine
ruined: no sleep
made: don't care

the herbaliser- scratchy noise

this is gonna be crazygood
i can't wait

it would probably have been a good idea to find that out before.......

cuz your signature's had a typo for a while now and you haven't changed it ;)
i agree with what it says though

made: i survived the day
ruined: being so tired that i feel like i'm about to snap. i either want to throw a temper tantrum like a 2 year old or get into a nasty screaming match with someone
what would make my day? sleeping for more than 3 hours for the first time in a month would be nice

people who are afraid of stating their opinions
weak and needy people
disrespectful people
braindead wastes of space
people who follow and never lead
people who can't just stand up and say, "this is me, fucking deal with it"
they don't really piss me off, they just disgust me

what is rave sub-culture?

it's crazy, i love it

that's gonna be one amazing tattoo

ruined: having to stare at a computer screen all day long for a work project......that completely killed my weekend. tired and pissed off, and what do i have in front of me? yay! another full work week.
this....for the rest of my life?
this sucks
whine whine
muh, whatever
made: sunshine, surprises....

loved da beats as always, the terrace was cool
wish i coulda danced more, long week though
the nitrous' cd kicks ass, everyone should get one
only complaint would have to be the carpet
i like slippy floors
met lots of nice people, twas very cool

heya ian!
hope you're having fun
thanks for the cd, still trying to figure those programs out

sitting on the mountain, staring at the sky, the trees, listening to the wind and the silence and feeling in my bones the history of the earth.
that was amazing

mazzy star-so tonight that i might see

yay it's tonight!
and it's`so close i can walk there, i love that