how dependent i am on nicotine to keep my temper in check......am i really such an angry person?

made: last minute spontaneous decision to go to source of light with friends
made: all the kooky memories from the weekend, my wacky friends, nice strangers, random rides from people on the road, and the waitress at the diner
made: when the jungle and drum and base showed up. that made my weekend. i couldn't tear myself away from it
made: seeing the stars for the first time in forever
made: surprise arrivals

ruined: running out of smokes and water
ruined: the complete lack of organization concerning the bus trip.
ruined: my temper

made: taking a fucking shower for the first time in 3 days.

my shoulders....flashfried
even my t-shirt hurts

let's all scream

the way out is through

all i've undergone
i will keep on

underneath it all
we feel so small
the heavens fall
but still we crawl

all i've undergone
i will keep on

newspapers fluttering about in the metro are like urban tumble weed

^^that, when i think of that, it reassures me somehow

music
i don't know what i'd do without it

gorgeous and sweet i do agree

nightmares on wax

my friend at work said this today:

"i can't wait to see my new bike, it's like a new boyfriend, it makes butterflies flutter in my stomach"

that was the highlight of my day

i need a vacation
i need sleep
i need to dance
i need to climb to the top of a mountain again
i want to dive into the ocean and listen to the silence again

yeah, that's happened to me before too
the restaurant usually doesn't care
some even lie about whether or not there are any meat products in their meal
and you don't realize until later, when you're sick for the next week.

"i think this is gonna kill me"
right before i passed out

cuz you're thoughtful and kind

whether or not i'll ever be understood
if i'm still welcome at the only place i could go to escape life and have fun
and mostly.......what i should have done to not hurt someone.
fuck......life sucks

to rewind my life back to a month ago

waterproof scars
no amount of tears
will ever fade them
no scream
will ever erase them
i want to shove the knife in
a little deeper
so the thickness of my blood
will contain them
and the essence of my soul
will become them
hardened edge
of treacherous ridges
dip into my nightmare
ride my razors edge
of uncertainty

thanks fred penner and amanda......
i just feel like the whole world should hate me right now

i woke up today
to find myself in another place
with a trail of my footprints
from where i ran away
it seems that everything i've heard
just might be true
and you know me
(well you think you do)
sometimes, i have everything-
yet i wish i felt something

do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged i've become?
when i think i can overcome
it runs even deeper

and in a dream i'm a different me
with a perfect you
we fit perfectly
and for once in my life i feel complete
and i still want to ruin it
afraid to look
as clear as day
this plan has long been underway
i hear them call
i cannot stay
the voice inviting me away

do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged i've become?
when i think i can overcome
it runs even deeper
everything that matters is gone
all the hands of hope have withdrawn
could you try to help me hang on?
it runs....

i'm straight
i won't crack
on my way
and i can't turn back
i'm okay
i'm on track
on my way
and i can't turn back
i stayed
on this track
gone too far
and i can't come back
i stayed
on this track
lost my way
can't come back

nin-even deeper

friendships lost
being despised and knowing that i deserve it cuz i'm despicable

yeah seb.....it's like life, too many questions, too few answers and i worry about everything all the time

fred penner, i think maybe it's just cuz people are sheep, he's in power, so he's supposed to be good and right....right?

he's a fucktard with an iq deficiency problem and tunnel vision eyesight of the bubble he lives in

yeah, that people actually support him is extremely disturbing to me. i don't understand how anyone could be so gullible and blind, let alone an entire country.

they should so kick his ass to the curb...but they won't

he infuriates me

mirror mirror on the wall
fuck you and watch me fall
alone in here i watch the revulsion
twist and taint you
features warped by the ugliness inside you
slice me shards of rabid anger
bang my head on porcelin gods
gnash my teeth in the rage of anguish
blacken this vision before me
take me away from this hell i have made for myself
leave me forever alone
let me leave here
nightmare of life
i take my leave......

if i were dead, no one would ever get hurt again
so, i make me want to die

brainfreeze-dj shadow

romy and michelle is hilarious

so, cuz i have something that i have to do on saturday night, is there a bus that leaves from there on saturday?

jazz fest
gonna go dance in the streets and act like a crazy person

in this black night
amidst the cacaphony of noise
from the choir of demons
that reside in my soul
under this white haze
of confused thoughts
from too many sleepless nights
i dream that i exist
in a world gone all akimbo
where i stand sideways
upon the edge of nothingness
and transcendence
and it is this calm storm
that i fade into
and the chains of reality
fall away

all the voices in my head

the big black hole that beckons me

a time machine

i'm pretty sure they said it was gonna be somewhere different with lots of space

it makes you wonder what the hell the americans were thinking,

"wow honey bunny, look at this smart boy on the teley, i betcha he can runs our country real good"

??????????

he lost, and he's still running the country

three cheers for the american way man

emotions are ephemeral
the are no universal answers
there is no point but that which you decide to create for yourself
if you think you are wise you have been blinded by your ego
there is always something left to learn of which you know nothing about
there are no rules that you can follow that can teach you how to live, being alive is a choice, if you are still here, open your eyes, shrug off the illusions and live

only if you wash them in cold water

nin-closer
especially these lines,

help me i broke apart my insides
help me i've got no soul to sell


my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god

tatoos and piercings
i agree
mmmmm

and someone who's artistic

eegads
what the hell do they listen to in toronto if they're missing out on krinjah playing?