wisushi is smaaaaall dude. how do you intend to pack all of ravewave in there?

*makes gurgling sound in back of throat from abundance of phlegm*

the taz mahal was GREAT for exodus. holyshit.

the space was huuuuuuuge, i remember at one point we just kept trying to get on the vert ramps to slide down on our asses, security didnt like us too much taht night.

full health again

breakfast doesnt exist.

from point a to point b, shit can only get worse.

there is no friends off. she ceased to exist a week ago.

and shes fine, she took a few minuites to throw a few insults at me already for being a bitch.

karmic repercussion.
and my matron kali ma, bringer of justice.

when you think one cold will cancel out the other cold but you end up with both colds.

fuck.

my lungs hurt.

i really wanna go. i may not like goa but astral was at the very first party i went to and they got me into raving so...

yeah i wanna go.

pilattteeeeeeeeesssss weeeeeeeeee
then straight to the tanning bed
as soon as im healthy

i perfer cross trainers instead of hard impact running - fucks with the knees. cardio machines like that are low impact on your joints.

jeff go back and read what i wrote to jess

darling, you dont understand the haaaalf of it. but like i said, yesterday it may have been worth something to me and today its not.

why not be defensive?
why not retalliate?
why not correct the misinterpretation of others?
forget being consumed by thoughts, last time i checked i havent been a resident at the douglas yet so under the presumption that perhaps youre reading into shit a little too much, stop talking about it. its over. humans are meant to be mutable. this is a discussion that is very well avoided since its today and not yesterday.

get my drift?

i said it before and ill say it again, this is absolution. there is no struggle here. only grim resolve. and i know you know what i mean when i say that.

p.s. stop being bitter.

people have freedom of choice and freedom of will. its not up to me to change anything. but i can be damned vocal about it and exercise my right to speak up.

and you cant finalize anything with a good luck or an its up to you. like i said, its not my life. its the lives of others. and that aint my problem.

made: relaxing weekend
made: vince
made: business ventures
made: directions. intelligence. strength of character.

ruined: nothing.

no its not directed at you jess. its directed at the state of things. and you shouldnt be hurt by it, we can all get hurt by much worse. i hold those things back with such an incredible fortitude its not even funny, because i dont like to hurt people. it makes me feel like shit causing emotional or psychological damage.

question everything though. be analytical.

i dont know what i know. i know whats said to my face but i dont know whats said behind my back. i stand on my own because no one stands up behind me.

respect. trust and interest. remember? you jess, have two of those (right now) because im believing what you tell me and im also making the assumption that if someone says one thing, youre not going to agree, and maybe, i have a hope that when im not there, someone will tell that person to shut up until im in front of them and they can say it to my face. but thats just an ideal.

...

matt: i just did do something about it. but from your particular position, thats not something you have rights to say, because in the end no one really knows anyone, everything is based on presumption, and no one really knows what anyone else is capable of.

now i have vince sitting on my bed going "kira stop typing". so im going to stop typing. now.

left out. neglected. being hated because one person couldnt listen and had to act like a two year old. group mind. uninvited. collective consciousness. ketamine. cocaine. ecstacy. gossip. backstabbing. maliciousness. ravers. haters. electronic music. marijuana. drug problems. junkies. social problems. social ASPHIXIA. being feared. being loathed. being an individual in a crowd of people that no longer distinguishes good from bad, right from wrong, the highs and lows, everything is neutral, everything is gray. knowing that whatever ive recieved is tantamount to absolutely nothing. intelligence. emotion. being alone finally once and for all and still fucking standing on my own two fucking feet.

FUCK RAVING.
FUCK THIS SCENE.
FUCK EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR.
AND ABOVE ALL, FUCK WHATS ITS DONE TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING THAT TOUCHES IT.

this fucking disease.

^^ no were not.

i'm better than all of you.

a nice big violent break up of all things.

yes have fun.

dont die.

or overdose.

or crash a car.

or anything remotely close to the aforementioned.

made: parents are GONE for the weekend
made: compassionate understanding teachers
made: gonna go pick on lindsay this afternoon
made: weekend of normal sex
made: lotta yummy food

ruined: sick again. stupid pills werent strong enough for my hardcore resilliant body.

discreet evolve tour this afternoon

and how im supposed to be at the gym and finishing this contract at the same time

thou art absolved gordo.

not go flagellate yourself sixteen times for penance.

lardass?

made: I WIN.

like a weight off my shoulders

ahhhhh

my life is currently complete.

i am absolved.

baahahahahahahahahahaha

die.

.

"everyone in my town is all bad and stuff but i like to rap about JESUS. JESUS is cool"

i love vice.

a mouse that doesn't suck so much ASS.

fucking cordless. i hate you.

liars.
fakes.
and those who talk behind your back.

youre not getting shit from me sweetheart.
not after this.

where are my programmers when i need them?

anyone want to set up a nice little secure database for me?

made: parents going away next weekend
made: PARENTS GOING AWAY NEXT WEEKEND.
made: i dont need to repeat it a third time... whooohooooooo

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod thats a lotta blood holyshitholyshitholyshit

i count good.

my ear is BLEEDING.

tmnt now have a bit more bulk and white eyes.

just like everything else has a bit more bulk...

like he-man. wtf. guy got on steroids.

i think you should put jackies cuke monster in there.

id love to see that thing everyday.