Jesus was a con-man who convinced a hand fun of influencial fools that he was devine in origin only as a product of his mother's shame in her own infidelities. Convinced that he was imaculately conceived, he, in true spirit of any man tried to proove his superiority through clever cons and parlor tricks. In the end, so convinced in his own greatness he surrendered his "soul" to a God/father he never actually spoke to. Was he real? Probably. Was he the son of "God"? probably not. And to answer your question: He'd probably play "like a virgin" on a kazoo while balancing a child on a deck chair on his forehead.

I loved Jeff in Arachnophobia but i think dumb and dumber soured his career.

Oh my poor misguided little lambs, how the devil has corrupted your view of His beautiful world. Your agressive words towards me speak strongly only of your fear, your fear to love. Unhinge these opressive, image based shackles. Love is COOL dudes!
Godbless!
ps the stick up my ass serves a very important posturpedic role. please dont poke fun.

To the person who refered to our lord and saviour as a "cunt", while i do not fully agree with your choice of synonyms, i must admit that he does resemble a vagina in function.
1-He in some small token, does give life
2-He gives pleasure and joy to man
3-He has a beard
although i doubt that was your meening as im certain that Jesus in no way resembles the over stretched, delapetated, cottage cheese spewing, tuna factories that have played central station to all too many pig skin trains that you are more likely familiar with.
godbless!

I think people can communicate just fine without all this dirty talk like the "F-word" or the dirty words used to describe substances which we release from our bodies. Its just not cool kids. Let Jesus show you the path to true happiness and love.
God-bless

PS Does anyone know of a place where i can pay money to have sex with small children?