2007 August:

+ Sweat

I'm sweating,
and breathing
and staring and thinking
and sinking
deeper.
It's almost like I'm swimming.

The sun is burning hot again
on the hunter
and the fisherman,
and he's trying to remember when,
but it makes him dizzy.

Seems like I've been here before.
Seems so familiar.
Seems like I'm slipping
into a dream within a dream.

Must be the way you whisper.

The sun is setting cool again.
I'm the thinker
and the fisherman
and I'm trying to remember when
but it makes me dizzy.
and I'm sweating,
and breathing,
and staring and thinking
and sinking
deeper
and it's almost like I'm swimming.

Seems like I've been here before.
Seems so familiar.
Seems like I'm slipping
into a dream within a dream.
It's the way you whisper.
It drags me under
and takes me home.



+ Hush

I can't say what I want to,
even if I'm not serious.
Things like....
"Fuck yourself,
kill yourself,
you piece of shit."

People tell me what to say,
what to think ,
and what to play.

I say...
"Go fuck yourself,
you piece of shit.
Why don't you go kill yourself?"

Just kidding.



+ Part of Me

I know you well.
You are a part of me.
I know you better than I know myself.
I know you best,
better than anyone.
I know you better than I know myself.

You don't judge.
You can't speak.
You can't leave.
You can't hurt me.
You're just here for me to use.

I know you best,
better than one might think.
I know you better than I know myself.
It's time for you
to make a sacrifice.
It's time to die a little.
Give it up.

You are a part of me.



+ Cold & Ugly

Underneath her skin and jewelry,
hidden in her words and eyes
is a wall that's cold and ugly
and she's scared as hell.
Trembling at the thought of feeling.
Wide awake and keeping distance.
Nothing seems to penetrate her.
She's scared as hell.

I am frightened to.

Wide awake
and keeping distance from my soul.
I am scared like you.



+ Jerk-Off

Someone told me once
that there's a right and wrong,
and that punishment
would come to those
who dare to cross the line.

But it must not be true
for jerk-offs like you.
Maybe it takes longer to catch a total asshole,
but I'm tired of waiting.
Maybe it's just bullshit and I should play GOD,
and shoot you myself.*
Because I'm tired of waiting.

Consequences dictate
our course of action
and it doesn't matter what's right.
It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD
and shoot you myself.*
I'm very tired of waiting.

I should
kick you,
beat you,
fuck you,
and then shoot you in your fucking head.*

* All references to "shoot you in your fucking head" are now performed live as "fuck you in your fucking ass" -- clearly a more appropriate message for the times.



+ Opiate

Choices always were a problem for you.
What you need is someone strong to guide you.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
what you need is someone strong to use you...
like me,
like me.

If you want to get your soul to heaven,
trust in me.
Don't judge or question.
You are broken now,
but faith can heal you.
Just do everything I tell you to do.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow.
Let me lay my holy hand upon you.

My God's will
becomes me.
When he speaks out,
he speaks through me.
He has needs
like I do.
We both want
to rape you.

Jesus Christ, why don't you come save my life.
Open my eyes and blind me with your light
and your lies.



+ The Gaping Lotus Experience • the hidden track

I had a friend once he took some acid
Now he thinks he's a fire engine
It's okay until he pisses on your lighter
Kinda smells kinda cool kinda funny anyway

Satan, Satan, Satan...

I had a friend once he took some ecstasy
Tried to marry me and every one in the room
He was sort of loving kinda caring,
kinda tried to fuck my lazy boy
It got a bit messy all over the curtains,
arm chair covers, throw pillows, and carpeting

Satan, Satan, Satan...

I'm getting bored again...