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2004 July:

Baby!! Why do you confuse me so, you say you don't want me to be sweet, so why the fuck am I even with you. What do you want?! Why am I important if not to make you feel good. If I can't make you feel good, I don't want to be with you. So you saying that you don't want me to be sweet is like saying that you don't want me at all. I am so confused, nothing makes any sense in my mind anymore. You're like a drug that keeps me sane, without you around, I go crazy. Just tell me what to do. Tell me why I am thinking about you whether I am asleep or awake... why do I question myself 50 times before even answering you. I just want to be myself but what if that isn't good enough? Then i don't want to be myself, I want to be what you want. You're like a power peach, when I'm not on you, I feel down and shitty and all I want is to feel you again. But that's unfair, to me, to you. I wish I knew...