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S.a.v.a.d.t.o.m.: A Cause Worth Fighting
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Oct 1, 2003 @ 9:59pm |
 Coolness: 686295 | S.A.V.A.D.T.O.M is a very, very important thing. To begin, if for some reason you don't know what it stands for, the acronym is for Squirrels, And Vaseline, And Duct Tape, Oh My! You know, like the whole Wizard of Oz thing, but better. Although most people have heard of it, the problem lies in the fact that few people know the true story behind it all. It was not an experiment gone horribly wrong, and it has nothing to do with Canada.
Not many people know this, but I, matthew gruman, am the founder of s.a.v.a.d.t.o.m. It started years ago during a discussion with a 'contemporary' of mine, Fred (editor's note: Yes, this is me), involving the incendiary properties of Vaseline. Say someone takes a hunk of Vaseline, sets it on fire, and throws it at some yuppy gentleman walking down the street chatting on a cell phone? Well, apart from the hearty pats on the back that Vaseline hurler would most likely recieve, probably nothing. The yuppy would just drop to the floor, roll around, and poof, no more fire. Yuppy would probably mutter something like "darn kids and their Vaseline", and be on his Yuppy way. No problem at all. But, what (i had the the guts to ask. I'm no hero), would happen if this flaming heap of Vaseline struck one of our poor squirrel friends? Lacking the knowledge to drop and roll, and having such a flamable, yet stylish, coat, they'd be helpless! Obviously, i could not just sit back and do nothing when such a terrible situation could be happening all over the world. "Why don't people know about this?" i asked along with the obvious "Why haven't the people at Vaseline put warning on their product?!" Being severely ignored by both the media AND Vaseline, i took the cause to the one place it would be heard...the internet. Within weeks, word of mouth spread all over the world and people everywhere were heeding the plight of the squirrels. They all knew what i propsed to do about it (full instructions are listed below), but no one really knew how this started, and how so many years went by without someone addressing it. So, that's what i'm doing here today. Giving you both some history, and some knowledge for a better future. The first thing i needed was a name. We were dealing with the internet, so it had to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Squirrels and Vaseline...Vaseline and Squirrels. How to combine them to make sense AND to be unforgetable? I considered many different names like 'The Wacky and Wonderful World of Squirrels and Vaseline!' (too aliterative) and 'Squireline' (well, just look at it, it's dumb) before settling on an acronym. So, 'S.A.V' it is right? No, didn't pop. Then i tried 'S.A.V.O.M'. The 'Oh My!' at the end did add something, but it just wasn't enough. What to do, what to do? Looking around my office, my eyes caught something grey and wonderful. It was on my bedpost (i was sleeping at work during that period)and i knew it was perfect. Duct Tape! Everyone pays attention when duct tape is involved! So that was it...the birth of Squirrels, and Vaseline, and Duct Tape, Oh My! So now, i guess the lingering question on everyone's minds is what they can do to be a supporter of this great cause. Well, the first thing is that you must use your Vaseline responsably. Know where it is at ALL times, don't keep it with your matches, and please, i cannot stress this enough, do NOT use it to cook! Another thing is keep your eyes open. If, maychance, you happen to see a squirrel covered in flaming Vaseline, stop whatever you're doing, and help it. Use your superior intellect to help out our little buddies. Just imagine a world without them, i know i've cried myself to sleep countless nights thinking about it. Spread the word, the more people who know about it, the better. We will NOT be ignored any longer! And finally, if you do see a Yuppy chatting on a cell phone, and feel it is your civic duty to smack them with a flaming pile of Vaseline, be sure the area is free of squirrels, and aim well. Thank you all so much. Peace and love, matthew |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cactain_steef replied on Wed Oct 1, 2003 @ 10:05pm |
 Coolness: 155380 | that was so deep *clutches heart*, i thought nobody else would understand! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Oct 1, 2003 @ 10:08pm |
| Coolness: 686295 | this is actually something that we started like 7 years ago. He still gets e-mails asking how people could join even though we can't find any mention of it online anymore. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cactain_steef replied on Wed Oct 1, 2003 @ 10:11pm |
| Coolness: 155380 | haha oO oo!!! how could i join? memememe! *flails arms |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Lady replied on Wed Oct 1, 2003 @ 10:31pm |
 Coolness: 183235 | i am a witness to his squirrel fetish..
pfft!! trying to fish for em eh?? never seen that one before until yesterday! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Oct 1, 2003 @ 10:36pm |
| Coolness: 686295 | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Lady replied on Wed Oct 1, 2003 @ 10:43pm |
| Coolness: 183235 | oh my god!!! there are others!!!!!! save us all! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cactain_steef replied on Wed Oct 1, 2003 @ 10:47pm |
| Coolness: 155380 | !!! *puts fishing net over freds head* ahhh! ahhahaa squirrel fishing looks like fun... *drools globs of spit |
S.a.v.a.d.t.o.m.: A Cause Worth Fighting
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