Texts From Last Night!!!!
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Gamos replied on Wed Jul 22, 2009 @ 3:27pm |
 Coolness: 94405 | Like FML - but better?
[ textsfromlastnight.com ] (313): this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it. (610): I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair (814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. (301): Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet. (901): I asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight." (951): yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye (352): I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself. (352): Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad |
| I'm feeling a message in a bottl right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DrGonzo replied on Wed Jul 22, 2009 @ 3:40pm |
 Coolness: 266865 | Originally Posted By GAMOS
(814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. qft hahah Originally Posted By GAMOS
(951): yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye hahahahhaha |
| I'm feeling gimme crackpipe right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» darren replied on Wed Jul 22, 2009 @ 9:20pm |
 Coolness: 28615 | i love tflm. my new fav website. and the best part is, you can usually find one that quickly that seems to apply to your buddies/chick friends. |
| I'm feeling in the mood right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DrGonzo replied on Wed Jul 22, 2009 @ 9:46pm |
| Coolness: 266865 | (785): Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
----- Haha, is it bad I have an extremely similar story.. (334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. (859): While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight. (651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure. |
| I'm feeling gimme crackpipe right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 8:30am |
 Coolness: 295885 | (707): so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal? |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 10:46am |
 Coolness: 116445 | (513): u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Update » LeChat wrote on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 10:52am (515): so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA X 2 |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 10:54am |
| Coolness: 295885 | (416): No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 10:57am |
| Coolness: 116445 | (785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face. |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:01am |
| Coolness: 295885 | (917): yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute. |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Masa replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:04am |
 Coolness: 159680 | (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina.
(978): Prove it. Update » Masa wrote on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:05am Hehe, *bookmarked*. Soo much fun.
(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. Update » Masa wrote on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:06am (843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score |
| I'm feeling chaotic right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:08am |
| Coolness: 116445 | Originally Posted By MASA
(843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score HAHAHAHAH GINGER Update » LeChat wrote on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:09am (913): I love sluts.
(402): I end my prayers with that every single night. |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Masa replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:13am |
| Coolness: 159680 | (813): I'm fucking your sister right now.
(1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. |
| I'm feeling chaotic right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:15am |
| Coolness: 116445 | (630): there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is' Update » LeChat wrote on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:17am (443): a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy? |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+2]Toggle ReplyLink» Masa replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:17am |
| Coolness: 159680 | (214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom |
| I'm feeling chaotic right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:21am |
| Coolness: 116445 | (541): im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine. |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+2]Toggle ReplyLink» Masa replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:22am |
| Coolness: 159680 | hahaha princesse :)
(435): Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood Update » Masa wrote on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:27am (610): Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore. |
| I'm feeling chaotic right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:29am |
 Coolness: 686500 | I really don't buy these as being legit. People who text don't type that well, as well as text messages having a 140 character limit just like twitter. |
| I'm feeling like a drama magnet right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:30am |
| Coolness: 116445 | (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
(1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Masa replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:31am |
| Coolness: 159680 | They're not. You can send your own.
Still, pretty funny stuff :) (720): Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown (303): I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself. |
| I'm feeling chaotic right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Daf replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:31am |
 Coolness: 186265 | Originally Posted By SCREWHEAD
I really don't buy these as being legit. People who text don't type that well, as well as text messages having a 140 character limit just like twitter. agree just like the Fuck my life, it's clear that some people just want to write the craziest story/line they will ever read, or at least hope for that some might be real, but whatever, it's all entertainment! |
| I'm feeling kiss me, im shitface right now.. | |
Texts From Last Night!!!!
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