" Looking For My Sexy Assistan" Bwahaha.
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» deadandgone replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:03am |
 Coolness: 63350 | " 32yo Gentleman looking for a Sexy Girl To Be My Personal Office Assistant
Office is located in Montreal Downtown Prefer someone 18 yrs - 25yrs Must be comfortable wearing revealing but professional clothing You must be nice, healthy, attractive and discreet Friendly Persoanlity is an asset Nice Attitude at all times Person should have an open mind to have a opportunity to grow with the company. You will be trained to have an opportunity to mature in an Executive Role This is an Entry Level position - Salary is 40000$/y Basic Computer Skills Basic Knowledge of Answering the Phones Good typing Speed For Data Entry Good knowledge of french and english I will make you feel as if you are to be the most important women If you are HOT, I would want us to have a good time with eachother. Someone that likes to spend time in Nsa Casual Relationship Person that loves giving relax sessions and make all my aches/stress go away Likes to go out for Movies & Dinners Person that loves to spend Friendly companionship time. Know how to spend quality time when with eachother. Please Be Clean & D/D Free Please be drama free." I found this on kijiji. In the jobs section, I just think it's fucking ridiculous so i had to post it, that's all. |
| I'm feeling fucking useless right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Sparklz replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:09am |
 Coolness: 114305 | That is too amazing. I wonder if any girls are actually going to apply???? |
| I'm feeling naughty right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:12am |
 Coolness: 163410 | Yes, some will. |
| I'm feeling laundering karma right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Sparklz replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:13am |
| Coolness: 114305 | That's sad. |
| I'm feeling naughty right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:22am |
| Coolness: 163410 | Update » system_glitch wrote on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:23am n the summer of 2004, Dimitri The Lover was heartbroken at having just ended a 9½ year relationship with a woman he loved very dearly. At that time he decided that a few months of man-whoring would do him some good. However, Dimitri was still emotionally distraught over the breakup, and felt that even though he needed to get laid, he was not yet psychologically strong enough to just approach potential sluts on the street.
While writing up an on-line dating profile, Dimitri had a thought: there must be some way that his profile could be read by hundreds of hot women in his immediate neighbourhood without competition from other men advertising their own profiles. Even though Dimitri could easily compete, why should he? He then had a sudden realization: a clearly worded poster put up on telephone and utility poles, newspaper boxes, bulletin boards, etc., would get his message out without competition from other horny men. POSTERING BEGINS: Dimitri The Lover began with an experimental batch of a couple of hundred posters entitled “Is Your Man a Dud?”, printed on plain white paper. He created a postering kit which contained a stapler, staple gun, packing tape dispenser, and tacks. The Poster was distributed throughout various areas of Toronto. The first batch yielded mediocre results from extremely desperate women. Dimitri went out daily to check on the status of his posters. Many were completely torn down within 24 hours of being put up, or all the pull tabs at the bottom (which contained the contact information), were completely torn off. Rewording the document and switching to pink paper yielded better results. Also, incorporating the e-mail address throughout the entire document forced vandals to destroy the whole sheet to prevent contact rather than just quickly tearing off the bottom strips as they were passing by. By the time the version contained in the link to the left was being distributed, the results were phenomenal! DIMITRI HIRES A POSTERING COMPANY: After a couple of months of self-postering, Dimitri hired a local company to distribute the document in the thousands throughout the GTA. Unfortunately, most of their employees were completely unreliable. Some employees refused to put the poster up after viewing the contents. Of the people that agreed to go out on their routes, most were kicked, spat upon, and generally harassed during postering. On-site audits conducted by Dimitri revealed that some employees chucked most of the posters in the trash. Some people even quit the postering company in frustration. However, what few posters were making it up were yielding great leads. By the spring of 2005 Dimitri could no longer keep up with demand for his sexual services and ceased his postering campaign for good. SUMMARY OF THE RESPONSE: The top poster respondents were men asking Dimitri The Lover to fuck their wives while they watched. Next were underfucked married women looking for some action on the side. Most respondents were people who were too embarrassed to seek out sex through traditional means. Unbelievably, many were extremely attractive! Also, a high percentage of women responding to the poster were redheads. AN OVERPROTECTIVE MOTHER’S SCORN: An irate mother living in The Beaches complained that Dimitri’s posters could be viewed by her young children while they walked on the sidewalk. Interestingly, during the same week, Now Magazine had a nude Ron Jeremy (yuck!) on the front page of their paper, which was displayed at toddler eye level in newspaper boxes throughout the city! Nonetheless, Dimitri responded to the mother’s concerns by asking the postering company to raise the height of his posters to just above adult eye level. HILARIOUS CALL FROM THE COPS: The initial purpose of a polite telephone call from Metropolitan Toronto Police was to ask Dimitri The Lover to stop postering at the York University campus, due to their campus bylaws or something along those lines. Just to maintain civility, Dimitri agreed to their request (they were quite sweet about the whole thing). Also, the police wanted Dimitri to assure them that he was not being paid for his services. Dimitri was often offered money (especially by men wanting their obese wives serviced), but being financially secure, never took any. Once these two issues were addressed, the police wished Dimitri happy postering and were about to end the conversation, but had a burning question for him: they wanted to know how well his poster was working! Dimitri was quite candid in his response, and they were extremely amused at his anecdotes. At one point Dimitri heard giggling, and realized that the police officer had him on a speaker phone for the apparent entertainment of his colleagues. At the end of the conversation the really nice police officer said to Dimitri, “for our records, what’s your last name?”, to which Dimitri responded, “The Lover” (Dimitri knows the law). There were more giggles, and the conversation ended on a humourous note. THE FINAL VERSION: As mentioned above, The Poster went through several changes. The most recent version is displayed to the left. Members of The Toronto Real Men refer to The Poster as The First Testament of Dimitri. Men throughout the world are welcome to duplicate this poster for their own personal use, but only on the condition that they DO NOT IMPERSONATE DIMITRI WHEN DOING SO!!! I also invite lairs to use it as educational material. |
| I'm feeling laundering karma right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» kwickStah replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:22am |
 Coolness: 66455 | I would if i had boobs :p
Just kidding its fucking ridiculous.. Loll!! |
| I'm feeling frenchkiss productio right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:43am |
 Coolness: 116445 | hahahahahaha
je travaille pour les ptites annonces et j'en ai vu de toutes les couleurs!! mais ça me fait rire à chaque fois =P <Gang-bang, après-midi de plaisir, hommes - couple - femmes seules, à partir de 13h 514 ***-****> (jvais pas leur faire dla pub gratuite quant meme !!!) |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:46am |
| Coolness: 163410 | Originally Posted By LE.CHAT
hahahahahaha je travaille pour les ptites annonces et j'en ai vu de toutes les couleurs!! mais ça me fait rire à chaque fois =P <Gang-bang, après-midi de plaisir, hommes - couple - femmes seules, à partir de 13h 514 ***-****> (jvais pas leur faire dla pub gratuite quant meme !!!) Chanceuse, t'a le first call! |
| I'm feeling laundering karma right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:47am |
| Coolness: 116445 | Originally Posted By STRANGEDAHLIA
Chanceuse, t'a le first call! ;) yeahyeah MAIS SÉRIEUSEMENT!! est-ce quil y a vraiment du monde que ça interresse?!?!?!?! |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:49am |
| Coolness: 163410 | Refer to my update above :) |
| I'm feeling laundering karma right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:55am |
| Coolness: 116445 | BESOIN urgent personne pour travail d'internet, m'aidera à envoyer des courriels, 20$/h., doit posséder ordinateur portable et internet. 450 ***-****
HAHAHAHAHAH n'importe quoi! |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:55am |
 Coolness: 295885 | Originally Posted By LE.CHAT
;) yeahyeah MAIS SÉRIEUSEMENT!! est-ce quil y a vraiment du monde que ça interresse?!?!?!?! I would say yes. If people still try to ask in the paper, it must work on some level!!! |
| I'm feeling fine right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:57am |
| Coolness: 116445 | Originally Posted By JOJO_BIZARRE
I would say yes. If people still try to ask in the paper, it must work on some level!!! on vit dans un monde de fous =) |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:57am |
| Coolness: 295885 | duhhhhh |
| I'm feeling fine right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 10:59am |
| Coolness: 163410 | Originally Posted By LE.CHAT
BESOIN urgent personne pour travail d'internet, m'aidera à envoyer des courriels, 20$/h., doit posséder ordinateur portable et internet. 450 ***-**** HAHAHAHAHAH n'importe quoi! Same good old data entry scam that's been around the net since 1992... and in offline mailers long before that. Too bad people still push it and bite to it, gives the legit internet business owners like me a bad name. I don't even bother telling people what I do for a living anymore. "Oh, so you're one of those scammer that send me spam emails!" Plus, if the guy really wanted real data entry employees or virtual assistants, he'd hire filipinos for 250$ per month... |
| I'm feeling laundering karma right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 11:04am |
| Coolness: 116445 | Originally Posted By STRANGEDAHLIA
Same good old data entry scam that's been around the net since 1992... and in offline mailers long before that. Too bad people still push it and bite to it, gives the legit internet business owners like me a bad name. I don't even bother telling people what I do for a living anymore. "Oh, so you're one of those scammer that send me spam emails!" Plus, if the guy really wanted real data entry employees or virtual assistants, he'd hire filipinos for 250$ per month... no it was an old lady =P |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 11:08am |
| Coolness: 163410 | Old ladies and work at home moms are usually the ones who fall for it. You pay to join the scam, then are told to advertise for data-entry and e-mail work in classifieds, forums, etc. and charge others for the same information.
Basically a pyramid/ponzi scheme disguised as a "work at home business opportunity" |
| I'm feeling laundering karma right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 11:10am |
| Coolness: 116445 | she wants help to send emails.... loll its not a scam =P |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 11:15am |
| Coolness: 163410 | [ lmgtfy.com ]
[ jobsearch.about.com ] I've been around. And they haven't changed the wording of their "offers" in over 10 years. There's a sucker born every minute! |
| I'm feeling laundering karma right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Mon May 11, 2009 @ 11:18am |
| Coolness: 116445 | no but i talked to the lady =P |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
" Looking For My Sexy Assistan" Bwahaha.
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