Joke Du Jour...
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Wizdumb replied on Tue Sep 12, 2006 @ 12:24am |
 Coolness: 123050 | what's the difference between michael jackson and acne?
at least acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face |
| I'm feeling bored right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlienZeD replied on Tue Sep 12, 2006 @ 10:25am |
 Coolness: 510300 | oh man, that belongs in the anti joke thread... or rather the too hot for tv thread
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?" |
| I'm feeling her up right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PonChalice replied on Tue Sep 12, 2006 @ 11:02am |
 Coolness: 76995 | when did mj become a priest?
... now thats an anti joke: micheal jackson was the king of pop. then he got fucked up. He proceeded to touched a bunch of little boys and then eventually became a priest. ho man! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» GRASP replied on Tue Sep 12, 2006 @ 12:07pm |
 Coolness: 66040 | how do you get a little girl to cry twice?
wipe your bloody dick all over her favorite barbie! |
| I'm feeling anal tongue darts right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlienZeD replied on Thu Sep 14, 2006 @ 2:43pm |
| Coolness: 510300 | A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so, a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from just in time to notice a young woman looking down.
"Is this yours?" he asked. She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed. On his arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. Because she was very attractive, he agreed. Shortly afterward she said, "I'm about to have dinner--there's plenty. Would you like to join me?" He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?" The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?" "No," she replied. "Only those who catch my eye." |
| I'm feeling happy right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PonChalice replied on Wed Sep 20, 2006 @ 8:47am |
| Coolness: 76995 | did you hear about the constipated mathmatician?
... he worked it out with a pencil! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Minou replied on Fri Sep 22, 2006 @ 10:25am |
 Coolness: 136785 | CHER PREMIER MINISTRE, JE SUIS ENTRAIN DE RENOUVELER MON PASSEPORT ET JE N'EN REVIENS PAS ENCORE.
COMMENT SE FAIT-IL QUE RADIO SHACK A MON ADRESSE ET TÉLÉPHONE ET SAIT QUE J'AI ACHETÉ UN CÂBLE CHEZ EUX, UN CÂBLE POUR MA TÉLÉ EN 1997 ET QUE VOUS, LE GOUVERNEMENT FÉDÉRAL, ME DEMANDEZ ENCORE OÙ JE SUIS NÉ ET À QUELLE DATE ? TABARNAC DE CALICE D'OSTIE DE CIBOIRE, FAITES VOUS LES PASSEPORT À LA MITAINE ? MA DATE DE NAISSANCE, VOUS L'AVEZ SUR MA CARTE D'ASSURANCE SOCIALE, SUR TOUTES LES OSTIES DE DÉCLARATIONS D'IMPÔT QUE JE VOUS FAIS DEPUIS 30 ANS, SUR MA CARTE D'ASSURANCE-MALADIE, SUR MON PERMIS D'CONDUIRE, SUR LES HUIT SACRAMENTS DE PASSEPORTS QUE J'AI EUS AVANT, SUR TOUTES LES PETITES CRISSE DE CARTES D'EMBARQUEMENT QUE J'AI REMPLIES AVANT DE PRENDRE L'AVION DEPUIS 30 ANS ET SUR TOUS LES CIBOIRES DE RECENSEMENTS QUE VOUS FAITES AVANT LES CALVAIRES D'ÉLECTIONS. QUELQU'UN PEUX-TU LE PRENDRE EN NOTE UNE FOIS POUR TOUTES, OSTIE DE CRISSE? MA MÈRE S'APPELLE CÉCILE, MON PÈRE ROBERT, ET ÇA M'ÉTONNERAIT QUE ÇA CHANGE D'ICI À CE QUE JE CRÈVE ! CALICE ! EXCUSEZ-MOI, M. LE PREMIER MINISTRE, MAIS CHU POMPÉ EN CRISSE À MATIN. ENTRE VOUS PIS MOÉ, ÇA VA FAIRE, OSTIE ! VOUS M'ENVOYEZ LA DEMANDE CHEZ MOI ET PIS VOUS ME DEMANDEZ MON ADRESSE. TABARNAC D'OSTIE, AVEZ VOUS UNE GANG DE MONGOL À VOTRE SERVICE ! REGARDEZ MA PHOTO OSTIE, J'AI TU L'AIR DE BEN LADEN, CALICE ? JE NE VEUX PAS ALLER DÉTERRER YASSER ARAFAT, CIBOIRE, JE VEUX JUSTE ALLER ME CHAUFFER LE CUL AU SOLEIL, TABARNAC. PIS QU'EST-CE QUE ÇA PEUT BEN VOUS CALISSER QUE JE VISITE UNE FERME DANS LES 14 PROCHAIN JOURS? SI JAMAIS L'ENVIE D'ENCULER UNE CHÈVRE OU DE FRENCHER UNE OSTIE POULE ME PREND, SOYEZ CERTAIN QUE JE LE DIRAI À PERSONNE, CALICE. LÀ DESSUS JE DOIS VOUS LAISSER PARCE QUE JE DOIS ALLER OBTENIR UNE AUTRE OSTIE D'COPIE DE CERTIFICAT DE NAISSANCE À L'AUTRE BOUT D' LA VILLE. CALICE,C'EST TU TROP COMPLIQUÉ D'AVOIR TOUT LES OSTIES D'SERVICE AU MÊME ENDROIT POUR FACILITER LA LIVRAISON D'UN NOUVEAU PASSEPORT LE MÊME JOUR. BEN NON, CALICE, VOUS AIMEZ MIEUX QU'ON COURRE AUX QUATRE COINS LA VILLECOMME DES OSTIES POULES PAS D'TÊTE, PIS EN PLUSSE FAUT TROUVER UN OSTIE D'BOZO POUR QU'IL CONFIRME QUE C'EST BEN MOÉ SUR L'OSTIE PHOTO D'PASSEPORT OÙ ON A PAS LE DROIT DE SOURIRE, J'COMPRENDS CALICE, QU'ON SOURISSE PAS, ON EST EN TABARNAC ! |
| I'm feeling like having a taste right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PonChalice replied on Thu Oct 19, 2006 @ 12:52pm |
| Coolness: 76995 | what is slender, green and smells like pork?
kermit the frogs fist!! |
| I'm feeling shark shit right now.. | |
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