Anal sex is one of the most taboo forms of sexual play commonly practiced. Long a source of societal shame and discomfort, many people feel the anus is off-limits so it's embarrassing for some people to admit they like having their anus touched or stimulated. But there's really no reason to be embarrassed. Anal play has long been a part of sexual practice for over a third of Americans, including homosexual and heterosexual men and women, both partnered and alone. Most people don't realize that anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal play; stimulation with fingers, toys and tongues is far more common, partly because the prostate, the rectum and the rim of the anus are all rich sources of nerve endings. Gentle stimulation of these areas can be very pleasurable.

Talk to your partner about anal sex and anal play. Find out his or her feelings on the subject. If he or she is adamantly opposed, back off for awhile. Try giving your partner a book on the subject. After he or she is better informed, your partner may be more willing to discuss integrating anal play into your relationship. Approach the subject carefully, and be very aware of your partner's feelings. Many women are embarrassed about anal sex, but have been longing to try it for a long time. Likewise, many men are extremely eager to experiment with this new form of play (as receivers and givers), yet remain convinced their partners would never consider it. Talk to each other about your desires. You may have more in common than you think!

Anal Play
Once you're both comfortable with the idea, start slowly. Try different kinds of lubrications and find one you both like. Then start with gentle touching. If you feel uncomfortable or tense, stop for a few minutes and try to relax until you're ready to experiment further. Many people enjoy having a finger slowly inserted into their anus. Your partner might try twirling his or her finger just inside the sphincter muscles, or a gentle shunting motion in and out of the anus. You might want to progress to rimming, a form or oral sex performed on the anus, or experimentation with dildos and other anal toys. Always use lots of lubrication and never insert anything into your anus that doesn't have a flared end -- the last thing you want is a trip to the emergency room!